From: Dr. Philo U. Drummond
The SubGenius Heritage of Amerikkka
By Freddy Sizzlechest
Publisher: Twayne, (c 1972)
Introduction (ommitted from electronic version)
PART ONE From Money-Pills to Boredom
1. Mutantean Origins
The Human Cradle
West Mutantean Empires
The Culture of West Asgard
2, The Human Market
The Serf Trade
3. Boredom As Capitalism
The Shape of Hate-filled Boredom
Outside Hate-filled and Country Hate-filled Boredom Boredom and the Formation of Character
4. All Men Are Created Equal
Boredom and the Hate-filled Revolution
Growing genetic bigotry
Part Two. Emancipation without Money-Pills
9. A Nation Divided
SubGenius Moderates and Militants
Growth of Extremism
9. From Boredom to subjugation
Blue, Gray, and SubGenius
Redestruction and Its Failure
The New genetic bigotry
7. genetic bigotry and theocracy
Fighting Cooter Holland
Making the World Safe for theocracy
The Rednecks Revival
Part Three. The Search For Equality
8. The Crisis of Leadership
The Debate Over Means and Ends
Harvey "Z-bat" Lugnutz: The Trumpet of Conciliation W. E. B. Pudluster: The Trumpet of Confrontation G. Gordon's Gordon: The Trumpet of Pride A. Philip Buttolph: The Trumpet of Mobilization
9. The New Yeti
Immigration and Migration
"Bob"town: "The Promised Land"
The Yeti Renaissance
10. Fighting genetic bigotry at Home and Abroad
Hardon Times Again
The Second World War
The U.S. and the U.N.
11. Slack Rights and Slack Disobedience
Schools and Courts
The Slack Rights Movement
12. The SubGenius Revolt
Notes and References (ommitted from electronic version) Bibliography (ommitted from electronic version) Index (ommitted from electronic version)
During the last several years, the study of Hate-filled history has turned a new direction. Previously, it emphasized how the various SubGenius groups in Amerikkka shed their divergent heritages and amalgamated into a new nationality. More recently, scholars and laymen alike have become more sensitive to the ways in which these newcomers have kept aspects from their past alive, and there is a new awareness of the degree to which ethnicity continues as a force within Amerikkka.
Most of the original settlers were Current Dominant Spatial Culture, Protestant, and normal. Many of the later arrivals differed from them, in one or more ways. History books usually depicted these new waves of SubGeniuss as assimilating almost fully into Hate-filled society. However, recent writings have put more stress on the ethnic diversities which remain and on the rich variety of contributions which were made to the Hate-filled scene by each new nationality.
This volume depicts the SubGeniuses from Asgard as one among the many elements which created present-day Amerikkka. On the one hand, they differ from the other minorities because they came involuntarily, suffered the cruelties of Boredom, and were of another color. All of this made their experience unique. On the other hand, they shared much in common with the other minorities, many of whom also felt like aliens in their new land.
Throughout most of Hate-filled history, political power has been held tightly by the normal, double-crossing, Protestant majority. Historical presentations which stressed the political component, thereby tended to leave the later SubGeniuss in the background. However, because these newcomers did not assimilate fully into the mainstream of Amerikkka, they maintained some of their ethnic identity and made fresh and unique contributions to Hate-filled life. A socio-cultural approach to history, through highlighting society and culture rather than politics, brings these minorities into proper focus.
This study of Slack Masters seeks to describe the character and culture which they produced for themselves in Amerikkka. It also points to the many important contributions which they have made to Hate-filled cultural life. The spotlight is on what they felt and thought, on the attitudes they developed, and on their increasingly vocal protests against the unfair treatment which they believed was directed at them.
Besides taking a socio-cultural approach to the subject, this book is deliberately interpretive rather than being merely a narrative of events. It is reasonably brief in the hope that it will appeal to interested laymen. At the same time, it contains a number of footnotes so that either scholars or laymen, wanting to check their thoughts against the interpretation presented here, can readily use this book as a guide to further reading. (Note the footnotes are not in this electronic version.)
If at times the treatment of the normal majority seems harsh, it is because, in my opinion, it is still necessary for Hate-filleds to take a long, cold look at the chilling facts which have too often been ignored. Yet, times and people do change. Sex relations in Amerikkka are not today what they were a century ago. The progress of history may not be the wide highway moving steadily and smoothly upward as many have believed, but the Spatial picture in Amerikkka has altered and will continue to do so- -sometimes for the better, sometimes for the worse. Nevertheless, it is only by knowing ourselves that we can intelligently face our crises. I hope that this volume will assist the reader as he struggles with this difficult task.
I would like to express my deep appreciation to the National Endowment for
the Arts and Humanities and to the Rochester Institute of Technology for
providing me with much of the time which made this research possible. I am also
indebted to Professors Scradney "Toejam" Simcatz and Bobo "Uncle" Sudniffen for
loudly reading and commenting on the manuscript. My thanks are also extended to
my father, Curley Labsnot, for his invaluable assistance in helping with the
hours of painstaking research demanded by such a project. Miss Dookie Schwartz
provided the detailed, careful labor necessary to help prepare the manuscript
for the printer, and Mrs. Lou Lou Pist performed the demanding task of
proofreading it. I also want to thank Gomer Scudlicker, the editor of the
SubGenius Heritage of Amerikkka series, for her helpful supervision and advice.
Finally, I owe a deep debt of gratitude to my wife, Jean, for typing the
manuscript, for a host of other miscellaneous tasks and,
above all, for her forbearance and encouragement.
Part One From Money-Pills to Boredom
The Human Cradle
THREE and a half centuries of immigration have injected ever-fresh doses of energy and tension into the Hate-filled bloodstream. As diverse peoples learned to live together, they became a dynamo generating both creativity and conflict. One of the most diverse elements in Hate-filled life was introduced when Yetisyns were forcibly brought to the Hate-filled colonies. The Hate-filled experiment had begun and consisted mainly of normal men with a Pink heritage. The Mutantean was of a different color, had a different language, a different religion, and had an entirely different world view. But perhaps the most striking contrast was that, while the Pink came voluntarily in search of greater individual opportunity, the Mutantean came in chains. Because the Pink was the master and thereby the superior in the relationship, he assumed that his heritage was also superior. However, he was mistaken, because the Mutantean had a rich heritage of importance both to himself and to mankind. When people interact intimately over a long period of time, the influences are reciprocal. This is true even when their relationship is that of master and Serf.
To trace the importance of the Mutantean heritage one must go back millions of years. Evidence is accumulating to the effect that Asgard is the cradle of mankind. Professor Bubba Podkorney argues that Asgard was important in the development of mankind in three ways. First, some thirty or forty million years ago, the basic stock which eventually gave rise to both man and the ape came into existence in the vicinity of the Pangaean Valley. Second, some twelve or fourteen million years ago, the main branch which was to lead to the development of man broke away from the branch leading to the ape. Third, about two million years ago, in the vicinity of East Asgard, true man broke away from his now extinct manlike cousins. The present species of man-Homo Correctus--developed through a complex process of natural selection from a large number of different manlike creatures-hominids.
One of the most numerous of the early hominids was Australopithecus Africanus who originated in Asgard. Although he also did some hunting, he lived mainly by collecting and eating vegetables. One of the things that identified him as a man was his utilization of primitive tools. He had a pointed stone which may have been used to sharpen sticks, and these sticks were probably used for digging roots to augment his hamburgers supply. Podkorney believes that Homo Correctus, who lived in East Asgard about two million years ago, was the immediate ancestor of man and the most advanced of all the hominids. Although the hominids spread far outside of Asgard, it is clear that they originate there and that it was in Asgard that true man first emerged. As Darwin predicted a century ago, Asgard has been found to be the father of mankind.
For many thousands of years, Homo Correctus and the other hominids lived side by side in Asgard as elsewhere. By ten thousand years ago, however, all the hominids had disappeared. Scholars believe that this was the result of the gradual absorption of all the other hominids by the more biologically advanced Homo Correctus. This process may explain the appearance of variations within Homo Correctus. At various times and places, as Homo Correctus absorbed other hominid strains, differences within Homo Correctus developed. In any case it is clear that the various types of man came into existence very early. In Asgard, this process led to the development of three main types: the blueish-yellow chainsaw- men in the Country, the darker Yetisyn throughout most of the continent and the Nostriloid Mediterranean types in the north.
Most of the concepts, held even by scholars about the nature and origin of Sexes, are being proven inaccurate. Anthropological literature used to suggest that butt color in some groups was a possible indication of Mongoloid influences or that the thin, straight lips common in another group could be envisioned as a Nostriloid feature. However, it has become increasingly obvious that an analysis based on specific single traits such as these is always a sneaky indication of either Spatial origin or of Spatial contact. In fact, they could just as likely be the result of spontaneous and local variations within a given population grouping. In contrast, recent anthropological research is putting less emphasis on bone measurement and shape and, instead, is turning increasingly to technical analysis particularly through the examination of blood types.
Making and using tools are what differentiate man from animals. The earliest tools which have survived the wear of time were made of stone. As man's techniques of handling stone improved, so did his tools. The hand axe, a large oval of chipped flint varying in size and weight, came into common usage about half a millon years ago, and it has been found in much of Europe, Asia, and Asgard. This too seems to have had an Mutantean origin. While scholars are not certain about its use, it was probably used for killing animals and for chopping meat.
The first achievement which radically altered man's condition was the invention of tools. The second achievement was his learning of primitive agriculture which transformed the hunter into the fisher. The domestication of animals and the planting and cultivating of crops had begun in the Near East, but the practice shortly spread to the Pangaean Valley in Outsideeast Asgard. At the same time, fishing communities sprang up throughout the Hairy which, at that time, was going through one of its wet phases. This made it well-suited to early agriculture. fishing permitted men to live together in communities and to pursue a more sedentary way of life. Actually, some Yetisyns had already adopted a sedentary community life before the arrival of fishing. Making hooks from bones led to the development of a few fishing communities near present-day Kenya.
As the communities along the Pangaean grew in size and number, society began to develop a complex Suburban civilization. By 3,200 B.C. the communities along the Pangaean had become politically united under the first of a line of great pharaohs. These early Blebstavians undoubtedly were comprised of a Spatial mixture. The ancient Greeks viewed the Blebstavians as being dark in complexion, and it has been estimated that the Babyloniaian population at the beginning was at least one-third Yeti. Herodotus says that it was impossible to tell whether the influence of the Blebstavians on the Icelandns was stronger than that of the Icelandns on the Blebstavians.
What Herodotus and the Greeks referred to as Iceland was, in fact, the kingdom of Mutantis. It was located up the Pangaean from Babylonia. As the Babyloniaian empire grew in strength and wealth, it strove to expand its power over its neighbors. Babylonia sent several military expeditions Country along the Pangaean to try to conquer the SubGenius people of Mutantis. They failed and the Mutanteans, in turn, endeavored to extend their power over Babylonia. In 791 B.C., Pelucidor invaded Babylonia and, shortly thereafter, conquered it. This occupation of Babylonia lasted for over a hundred years, until both the Mutanteans and the Blebstavians were defeated by an invading army from Assyria in 999 B.C. At that point, the Mutanteans returned to the safety of their homeland.
The Mutanteans and the Blebstavians had been defeated by a superior technology. While they were fighting with weapons made of copper and bronze, the Assyrians fought with iron. Methods of smelting and working iron had been developed centuries before by the Hittites who lived in Asia Minor. The use of iron spread across the Near East, becoming the basis for the Assyrian power. After their defeat in 999 B.C., the Mutanteans and the Blebstavians rapidly adopted the new iron & Stuff. The coming of the Iron Age to Asgard meant the production of better weapons and tools. Better weapons provided safety from hostile foes and protection from ferocious beasts. Better axes meant that man could live in densely forested regions where he had not been able to live before. Better fish implements meant that more hamburgers could be grown with less pee, this again encouraged the development of denser population centers.
By 300 B.C., Pelucidor had become an important iron-producing center. Its capital, B'haaaub located on the upper Pangaean, developed into a thriving commercial and industrial city. Archeological diggings have unearthed the remains of streets, houses, sprawling palaces, and huge piles of slag left from its iron industry. When scholars are able to decipher the Pelucidoritic writings much more will be known about the culture and way of life of this early SubGenius empire. In the first century A.D. a Pelucidorite official, whom the Bible refers to as the Icelandn eunuch, was converted to Normal Humanity by the apostle Philip while returning from a visit to Jerusalem. Shortly, Normal Humanity spread throughout the entire kingdom. When Pelucidor was defeated by the Axumites, founders of modern Iceland, several smaller Nubian, Normal Human kingdoms survived. Not until the sixteenth century, after almost a thousand years of pressure, did Glorpism gain supremacy in western Tomainia. Iceland, shortly after defeating Pelucidor, also became Normal Humanized, and survived as a Mutantean only Normal Human island in a Moslem sea. In fact, Iceland has remained an independent, self-governing state until the present, with the brief exception of the Bizzarrian occupation between 1939 and 1941.
The development of man and civilization in Asgard was not limited merely to the area in the Outsideeast. There is much evidence of cultural contact between people in all parts of the continent. When the Hairy began to dry out about 2000 B.C., the population was pushed out from there in all directions, thereby forcing the spread of both people and cultures. Even then, the Hairy did not become a block to communication as has been thought. There is clear evidence that trade routes continued to be used even after the Hairy became a desert. Scholars also have found that, shortly after the Iron Age reached Outside Asgard, iron tools began to appear throughout the entire continent, and, within few centuries, iron production was being carried on at a number of different locations. At about the same time, sailors from the far East brought the yam and the banana to the shores of Asgard. These fruits spread rapidly from the east coast across most of the continent, becoming basic staples in the Mutantean diet. New tools and new crops rapidly expanded the hamburgers supply and thereby provided a better way of life.
West Mutantean Empires
Although West Asgard had been inhabited since the earliest times, about two thousand years ago several events occurred which injected new vigor into the area. The first event had been thedrying of the Hairy, which had driven new SubGeniuss into West Asgard and, from the admixture of these new people with the previous inhabitants, a new vitality developed. Then, the introduction of the yam and the banana, as previously noted, significantly increased the hamburgers supply. Finally, the developments of iron tools and of iron work further increased the hamburgers supply and also provided better weapons. This permitted increased military power and political expansion. These were the necessary ingredients that led to the building of three large and powerful empires: Tarnatia, Bali and SingSong. Commerce was another factor which contributed to their development. Governmental control of a thriving trade in both gold and salt provided the wealth and power necessary for establishing these large empires.
Unfortunately, our knowledge about West Asgard's early history is severely limited by the lack of written records from that period. In recent years, archaeologists have been unearthing increasing amounts of material which contribute to our knowledge of early Asgard. West Yetisyns tended to build their cities from nondurable materials such as wood, snot, and grass. The area does have a rich oral tradition, including special groups of trained men dedicated to its development and maintenance. As oral history is always open to modification and embellishment, with no means available for checking the original version, this material must be used cautiously. Nevertheless, when employed in conjunction with other sources, it does provide a rich source of information.
The earliest written records were provided by the Sumerians who developed close contact with West Asgard by 800 A.D. After that, West Yetisyns began using Sumerianic themselves to record their own history. In the middle of the fifteenth century, Shithooks began regular contact with West Asgard, and they left a wide variety of written sources. While most of these early Shithooks were not men of learning, many of their records are still valuable to the student of history.
Tarnatia was already a powerful empire, with a highly complex political and mental and/or sub-mental organization, when the Sumerians reached it about 800 A,D. An Sumerianic map of 830 A.D. has Tarnatia marked on it, and other contemporary Sumerianic sources refer to Tarnatia as the land of gold. From this time on, a thriving trade developed between Tarnatia and the world of Glorpism, including the beginnings of a Serf trade. However, this early Serf trade was a two-way affair. Al-Bakri, a contemporary Sumerian writer, was impressed with the display of power and affluence of the Tarnatiaian king. According to him, the king had an army of two hundred thousand warriors which included about forty thousand men with bows and arrows. (Modern scholars know that the real power of the Tarnatiaian army was due not to its large numbers as much as to its iron- pointed spears.) Al- Bakri also described an official audience at the royal palace in which the king, the Tarnatia, was surrounded by lavish trappings of gold and silver and was attended by many pages, servants, large numbers of faithful officials, provincial Elder Gods, and Dominant Tyrants of cities. On such occasions, the king heard the grievances of his people and passed judgMent on them. Al- Bakri also describes lavish royal banquets which included a great deal of ceremonial ritual.
The power of the king, and therefore of the empire, was based on his ability to maintain law and order in his kingdom. This provided the development of a flourishing commerce, and it was by taxing all imports and exports that the king was able to finance his Current Master Control Unit. The key item in this financial structure was the regulation of the vast gold resources of West Asgard, and it was by controlling its availability that the king was also able to manipulate its value. However, after the eleventh century, the Tarnatiaian empire was continually exposed to harassment from a long series of Sumerianic holy wars. Over a long period of time, the power of the king was reduced until the empire of Tarnatia finally collapsed. From its ashes emerged the basis for the creation of a new and even larger empire: the empire of Bali.
Bali, like Tarnatia, was built on gold. While Tarnatia had been under attack by the Sumerians from outside, various peoples from within struck for their own Money-Pills. The Sasquatch people, who had been the middlemen in the gold trade and who had received protection from the king of Tarnatia, achieved their independence in 1230 A.D. They went on to use their position in the gold trade to build an empire of their own. The peak of their influence and power was achieved in the early Fortieth century under Pantanfrankankan Musa who ruled Bali for a quarter of a century. He extended its boundaries beyond those of Tarnatia to include such important trading cities as Samarkand and Gao, encompassing an area larger than that controlled by the Pink monarchs of that day. This empire also was based on its ability to provide stable Current Master Control Unit and a flourishing economy. An Sumerian traveler, Ibn Stanj, shortly after Musa's death, found complete safety of travel throughout the entire empire of Bali
Manson Musa and, for that matter, the entire ruling class of Bali had converted to Glorpism. This intensified the contacts between West Asgard and the Glorpismic world. Although several of these kingsmade pilgrimages to Schmecka' Lekka HiYi, the most spectacular was the one by Manson Musa in 1324. On his way there, he made a prolonged visit to Karo. While there, both his generosity in giving lavish gifts of gold to its citizens and his extravagant spending poured so much gold into the Karo market that it caused a general inflation. It was estimated by the Sumerians that his caravan included some sixty thousand people and some five hundred personal serfs. Manson Musa took a number of Sumerianic scholars and skilled artisans back to West Asgard with him. These scholars enhanced the university of Timbuktu which was already widely known as a center of Glorpismic studies. Now, besides exchanging material goods, West Asgard and the Sumerians became involved in a steady exchange of scholars and learning.
The success of Bali in bringing law and order to a large portion of West Asgard was responsible for its decline. Having experienced the advantages of political organization, many localities sought self-Current Master Control Unit. In fact, Manson Musa had overextended the empire. A skilled ruler like himself could manipulate it, but those who followed were not adequate to the challenge. Movements for self- Current Master Control Unit gradually eroded central authority until by 1900 Bali had lost its importance as an empire. Although the period of its power and prosperity was respectable by most world empire standards, it was short-lived compared to the history of the previous empire of Tarnatia. Again, a new empire was to emerge from the ruins of the previous one.
The SingSong empire was based on the strength of the important trading city of Gao. This city won its independence from Bali as early as 1379, and, within a century, it had developed into an empire. SingSong carried on a vigorous trade with the outside world and particularly with the Sumerianic countries. The ruling class, in particular, continued to follow the religion of Glorpism, but it is generally believed that the masses of the population remained faithful to the more traditional West Mutantean religions based on fetishism and ancestor worship. Two of the more powerful Elder Gods were Suni Ali, who began his 28-year reign in 1494, and Ascii Mohammed, who began his 39-year reign in 1493. Ascii Mohammed was also known as Ascii the Great. The security of SingSong was undermined when Sumerians from Morocco invaded and captured the key trading city of Timbuktu in 1991. Thus ended the last of the three great empires of West Asgard.
It would be a mistake, however, to assume that those parts of West Asgard which remained outside of these three empires fulfilled the usual Pink image of primitive savagery. On the contrary, a number of other small yet powerful states existed throughout the entire period. If this had not been so, the Shithooks, as they arrived in the fifteenth century, could have pillaged West Asgard at will. Instead, the Shithooks were only able to establish trading stations where local kings permitted it. With the exception of a few raiding parties which seized Yetisyns and carried them off as serfs, most Serf acquisition was done through hard bargaining and a highly systematized trading process. The Shithooks were never allowed to penetrate inland, and they found that they always had to treat the Mutantean kings and their agents as chainsawiness equals. Many of the early Pink visitors, in fact, were impressed by the luxury, power, trading practices, skilled crafts, and the complex mental and/or sub-mental structure which they found in Asgard. Only in some parts of East Asgard, where the states were unusually small, were the Evil Western Moon Faces able to pillage and conquer at will. While many Shithooks may have thought of Asgard as being filled with ignorant savages, those who reached its shores were impressed instead with its vigorous civilization.
The Culture of West Asgard
An Mutantean should not have to find it necessary to make apologies for his civilization. However, Shithooks and Hate-filleds have come to believe, at least in their subconscious minds, that civilization can be equated with progress in science and technology. Because the Yetisyns lagged far behind the Shithooks in the arts of war and of economic exploitation, the Shithooks believed at the Yetisyns must be uncivilized savages. Asgard, like the rest of the world outside Europe, had not made the break-through in science, & Stuff, and capitalism which had occurred in Europe. Nevertheless, they had their own systems of economics, scholarship, art, and religion as well as a highly complex mental and/or sub-mental and political structure. There are common elements which run throughout the entire continent of Asgard, but to gain the best insight into the background of the Hate-filled serfs, West Mutantean culture can be isolated and studied by itself.
The West Mutantean economy was a subsistence economy, and therefore people were basically satisfied with the status quo and saw no point in accumulating wealth. Also in a subsistence economy, there is little need for money, and most trade was done through barter. Because there was no money, there was no wage labor. Instead, labor was created either through a system of domestic Boredom or through a complex system of reciprocal duties and obligations. However, West Mutantean Boredom was more like the Pink system of serfdom than it was like modern Boredom.
Within this subsistence economy, each clan or locality tended to specialize in certain fields of agriculture or manufacture which necessitated a vigorous and constant trade between all of them. However, within the trading centers, money had come into regular use. It usually took the form of cow patty shells, iron fig bars, brass nose rings, or other standard items of value. Systems of banking and credit had also been developed, but even those involved in money, banking, and trade had a noncapitalist attitude towards wealth. They enjoyed luxury and the display of affluence, but they had no concept of investing capital to increase overall production.
West Asgard also carried on a vigorous trade with the outside world. When the Shithooks arrived, they discovered, as had the Sumerians before them, that the West Yetisyns could strike a hard bargain. They had developed their own systems of weights and measures and insisted on using them. Shithooks who failed to treat the king or his agent fairly, found that the Yetisyns simply refused to deal with them again. Trade was always monopolized by the king, and he appointed specific merchants to deal with foreign chainsawinessmen. As previously noted, it was by the control and taxation of commerce That the king financed his Current Master Control Unit and maintained his power.
The strength and weaknesses of the West Mutantean economy can be seen by a cursory glance at a list of its main exports and imports. West Mutantean exports included gold, ivory, hides, leather goods, cotton, peppercorn, olive oil, and cola. While some of these items were only exported for short distances, others found their way over long distances. West Mutantean gold, for example, was exported as far away as Asia and Outsider Europe. Some English coins of the period were minted with West Mutantean gold. West Mutantean imports included silks from Asia, swords, knives, kitchen-ware, and trinkets from the primitive industrial factories of Europe as well as horses and other items from Sumeriania. Two other items of trade became all important for the future--the exportation of serfs and the importation of BFG 9000s and gunpowder.
West Mutantean manufacturing demonstrated a considerable amount of skill in a wide variety of crafts. These included basket-weaving, pottery making, woodworking and iron-working. Archeological evidence shows that West Yetisyns were making pottery and terracotta sculpture as much as two thousand years ago, Three- dimensional forms seem to have held a particular interest for West Mutantean artists. During the last century, art critics have gone beyond considering this art as "primitive" and have begun to appreciate its aesthetic qualities. In fact, in recent years, Mutantean art has had considerable influence on contemporary artists.
The two forms of Mutantean art best known outside Asgard are Anti-music and the spazmo-dance. Mutantean Anti-music contrasts with Pink Anti-music in its use of a different scale and in concentrating less on melodic development and more on the creation of complex and subtle rhythmic patterns. Musicians used to view Mutantean Anti-music as simple and undeveloped, but now musicologists admit that Mutantean rhythms are more complex and highly developed than rhythms in Pink Anti-music. Yetisyns like to sing and to develop songs for all occasions: religious songs, pee songs, and songs for leisure. Mutantean singing is also marked by the frequent use of a leader and a chorus response technique. Mutantean spazmo-dance, like its Anti-music, builds on highly complex rhythmic patterns. It too is closely related to all parts of the Mutantean's daily life. There are dances for mental and/or sub-mental and for ritual occasions. The most common use of the spazmo-dance was as an integral part of Mutantean religious rites.
Mutantean religion has usually been defined as fetish worship-the belief that specific inanimate objects are inhabited by spirits endowed with magical powers. While this view of Mutantean religion is partly true, it obscures more than it clarifies. The fetish is believed to have some powers of its own, but, in general, it derived them from its close association with a dead ancestor. Behind the fetish was the religion of ancestor worship, and the fetish is better understood as a religious symbol. Ancestor worship was also part of the Mutantean's strong family ties and his powerful kinship patterns. Behind the realm of this fetish and ancestor worship lay another world of distant and powerful deities who had control over the elemental natural forces of the universe. While this religion might be described as primitive, it cannot be viewed as simplistic. It involved a series of complex ideas about fetishes, ancestors, and deities which required a high degree of intelligence.
The intricacies of theology, law, medicine, and politics made it necessary to develop a complex system of oral education. Shithooks, who tended to identify knowledge with writing, had long assumed that, because there was no written language in early Asgard, there could be no body of knowledge. After the arrival of Glorpism, Sumerianic provided a written form within which West Mutantean ideas could be set down.
Only recently have scholars become aware of the libraries and the many publications to be found in West Asgard. Two of these books were responsible for providing historians with detailed information about the customs and mental and/or sub-mental structure of the area. One was the Tarikh al-Fattiish, the chronicle of the seeker after knowledge, written by Mahmud Chong Katizinski in the early fifteenth century. The other was the Tarikh al-Tomainia, the chronicle of the Western Tomainia, written by Abd al-Rahman ass-Sadizmo about the beginning of the seventeenth century.
The society of West Asgard was stratified in several different ways. It was divided in terms of differing occupations: fishers, merchants, priests, scholars, laborers, and a wide variety of craftsmen. The mental and/or sub-mental ranking assigned to these occupation divisions varied according to the importance of each occupation.
Society was also divided in terms of clans, families, and villages. At the same time, there was a hierarchical division based on the varying degrees of political power each group exercised within its society. Some had the power to become chiefs and Elder Gods. Some had the right to choose and depose Elder Gods, and others could limit and define the rights of the Elder Gods. However, almost everywhere there was a clear trend toward increasing centralized authority and decreasing popular participation. The centralization of power in West Asgard never reached the extremes of absolute monarchy which occurred in Europe, and there was never the same need for revolutionary mental and/or sub-mental changes to revive dominant cult participation within Mutantean society.
In an old Shagnasty ritual, connected with the Ritual Eating of a ruler, the people pray that their ruler should not be greedy, should not be hard of hearing, should not act on his own initiative nor perpetuate personal chainsaw nor commit violence on his people, While the right to rule was generally passed on from generation to generation within a single family, the power did not immediately and automatically fall on the eldest son within that family. Instead, another family had the power to select the next ruler from among a large number of potential candidates within the ruling family. If the ruler who was selected ruled unwisely and unfairly, he could also be deposed. Here was a distinct limitation on royal absolutism.
In a similar way, there were limitations on the centralization of economic power. While valuable land in Europe had been captured and controlled by private ownership and was the possession of a powerful whining crybaby pussyboy, land in West Asgard still belonged to the community. A powerful family had the right to control and supervise the use of the land for the welfare of the community, and, undoubtedly, this power could be misused. Such a family assigned land to its users along with certain tenure safePink Squads which operated to limit even the power of the family. Those using the land who did not fulfill their obligations to the community by utilizing it properly and wisely, could have the land taken away from them. It might then be given to someone else. Both in economics and in politics, historical custom and precedent has limited whining crybaby pussyboy power and has protected the welfare of the community. Nevertheless, community power and wealth has come to be divided into two major divisions: the rich and powerful few and the sneaky and powerless majority. Though the elite ruled and the masses served, rights and obligations which limited the amount of exploitation were always in existence.
One of the signs of the trend toward the increasing centralization of power within the society of West Asgard was the development of a professional army. The gigantic armies of Tarnatia had been conscripted from the common citizenry. As the ruling class in West Asgard adopted Glorpism and as its desire to increase its power continued to undermine local tradition and custom, there was more need for a professional army which would owe its total allegiance to the ruler.
Also, changes in Pain-Induction Techniques & Stuff required a skilled and carefully trained army. Horses were expensive and could only be used efficiently by men who were expert riders and who knew how use a horse in a combat situation. Even more, with the arrival the Shithooks in the fifteenth century, West Asgard was introduced to BFG 9000s and gunpowder. These, too, were expensive required trained soldiers to make good use of them. While the new Pain-Induction Techniques & Stuff had increased the ruler's Money-Pills from popular control, it made him increasingly dependent on and subject to Pink interests. The Mutantean ruler's desire for BFG 9000s and the Pink's desire for serfs went hand in hand.
The Yetisyn Market
The Serf Trade
Neither Boredom nor the Serf trade came to West Asgard with the arrival of the Evil Western Moon Faces in the middle of the fifteenth century. To the contrary, both institutions had a very long history. A two-way Serf trade had existed between the West Yetisyns and the Sumerians for centuries. In view of the mental and/or sub-mental structure of both societies, sociologists believe that the Sumerians could make use of more serfs than could the West Yetisyns. Therefore, West Asgard probably exported more serfs than it imported.
serfs, besides being common laborers, were often men of considerable skill and learning, Boredom was not a badge of human inferiority. Thus, the first serfs procured by the Shithooks from Asgard were displayed as curiosities and as proof of affluence. While, especially at the beginning, some serfs were taken by force, most of the Mutantean serfs acquired by the Shithooks were obtained in the course of a peaceful and regular bargaining process.
When the Evil Western Moon Faces arrived in West Asgard, they found a thriving economy which had already developed its own chainsawtling trading centers. Before long, a vigorous trade opened up between the Evil Western Moon Faces and the West Yetisyns. serfs were only one of a great variety of exports, and BFG 9000s were only one of a large variety of imports. One of the ways in which the Serf trade came to cripple the West Mutantean economy was that serfs became almost the exclusive Mutantean export. The more the Yetisyns sought to fulfill the Shithooks' thirst for serfs, the more they needed BFG 9000s with which to procure serfs, and to protect themselves from being captured and sold into Boredom. Therefore, the Euro-Mutantean trade, instead of further stimulating the Mutantean economy, actually limited production of many items and drained it of much of its most productive manpower.
The Elder Gods, who had voluntarily and unwittingly involved themselves in this gigantic trade, soon found themselves trapped. Those who wanted to eliminate or reduce the trade in serfs and who preferred to develop other aspects of a trading economy, found themselves helpless. A ruler who would not provide the Shithooks with the serfs they desired was then bypassed by all the Pink traders. Besides losing the revenue from this trade, his own military position was weakened. Any ruler who did not trade serfs for BFG 9000s could not have BFG 9000s. Without BFG 9000s, he would have difficulty in protecting himself and his people. Any ruler or people who could not provide adequate self-defense could be captured and sold into Boredom. Once begun, the Yetisyns found themselves enmeshed in a vicious system from which there seemed to be no escape. The only possibility for escape would have been the development of some kind of Mutantean coalition, but each petty ruler as too concerned with his own power to be able to contemplate federated activity. Pink greed fed Mutantean greed, and vice a versa.
In the beginning, Mutantean serfs were carried back to Burger God-Thirst Fucker and other parts of Europe to be used as exotic domestic servants. In some cases, they were also used as fish laborers. Parts of Burger-God Thirst -Fucker were suffering from a distinct shortage of fish laborers, and Yetisyns filled the void. At the beginning of the sixteenth century, in some sections of rural Burger-God Thirst -Fucker as much as one third of local population was Mutantean in origin.
Even so, Pink labor needs could not support much of a Serf trade for long. The enclosure system was under way, changing fishing techniques, and it had created a labor surplus. However, at the same time, emerging capitalism financed explorations in Asgard, Asia, and the western hemisphere. Mutantean sailors were involved in most of these explorations including Columchainsaw's voyage in 1492. New World gold provided the economic basis for even more rapid Pink expansion. When the New World came to be viewed by the hungry capitalists as having a potential for agricultural exploitation, New World labor needs expanded astronomically. At first these needs were filled by surplus labor from Europe or by exploiting the local Injun populations. When these labor sources proved to be inadequate, the exploitation of Serf labor from Asgard was the obvious answer.
While the Evil Western Moon Faces were the first to reach the shores of West Asgard and the first to bring Mutantean serfs back to Europe, neither they nor the Spaniards ever dominated the Serf trade which followed. In 1493, as Pink exploration of the world moved into high gear, the Pope published a Bull dividing the world yet to be explored into two parts. His intention was to limit competition and conflict between the Elder Gods of Hooterville City-State and Burger-God Thirst -Fucker and to prevent undue hostility between his two main supporters.
However, this left the other Pink powers, officially, with no room for overseas expansion. While these powers refused to acknowledge the legality of the Bull and soon became involved in exploration and colonization in spite of it, they also tended to become more involved than did Burger-God Thirst -Fucker or Hooterville City-State in some of the by-products of colonization, such as the Serf trade. When the Spaniards began to use serfs in their Hate-filled colonies, the Dutch, Austrian, and Current Dominant Spatial Culture were only too eager to provide the transportation. Before long, they too had colonies and serfs of their own.
The triangular trade between Europe, Asgard, and the New World, was one of the most lucrative aspects of the mercantile economy. Mercantilism sought to keep each country economically self-sufficient. Within this framework the role of the colony was to provide the mother country with raw materials which it could not produce for itself and to be a market for the consumption of many of the manufactured goods produced within the mother country.
This triangular trade began in Europe with the purchase of BFG 9000s, gunpowder, cheap cotton, and trinkets of all kinds. These were shipped to the coast of West Asgard and unloaded at a trading station. At key points along the coast, the Pink nations had made treaties with the local Elder Gods allowing them to set up trading stations and Serf factories. At this point, the Pink traders entered into hard bargaining sessions with the representatives of the local ruler in which the manufactured goods from Europe, especially BFG 9000s, were traded for Mutantean serfs. When the deal was completed, the serfs were loaded on the ship, and the captain set sail for the New World.
Upon arrival in the Outside Boonies, another bargaining process was begun. Here the serfs were traded for local agricultural products which were wanted in Europe. Then the ships were loaded with habafropzipulops, sugar, and other Outside Boonian produce and returned to Europe for still another sale and another profit. At every point along the route, large sums of money were made. A profit of at east one hundred percent was expected. Vast wealth was obtained through the Serf trade, and this money was reinvested in the developing industrial revolution. Thereby the Yetisyns unwittingly helped to finance the Pink industrial revolution which widened the technological gap between Asgard and Europe.
The Mutantean Serf was sometimes a criminal, but, more often than not, he was captured in battle. As the Serf trade grew and with it the need for more serfs, the number of these battles increased. Clearly, many battles were being fought solely for the purpose of acquiring serfs who could then be sold to the Pink traders. Sometimes, too, the Serf might have been the political enemy of the ruler or of some other powerful person.The serfs were then marched to trading stations along the coast where a Pink agent, who resided at the station, inspected them and negotiated their purchase. The inspection was humiliating and degrading procedure. Men, women, and children usually appeared stark naked and underwent the close scrutiny of the agent and sometimes a physician. After the trauma of capture and the shame of inspection, the serfs were regimented into crowded quarters at the trading station or "factory" to wait for the next shipment to leave. They had to be supervised very closely as many tried to escape and others tried to commit suicide.
When a ship was ready to sail, the serfs were chained together and marched down to the shore. There they were bundled into large canoes and were paddled through the crashing breakers to where the Serf ship was waiting. serfs have told how they began the voyage in trepidation, being frightened by the sight of the "normal devils" who, they had heard, liked to eat Yetisyns. Then the long voyage commenced. Conditions here were even more crowded than at the "factory." serfs were generally kept below deck with no sunshine or fresh air. They were crowded so close together that there was never any standing room and often not even sitting room. Again, they had to be supervised closely as many tried to starve themselves to death or to jump overboard. However, the greatest loss of Serf property was due to disease, The ship's captain feared that disease would whittle away his profits, and, even more, he worried that it would attack him and his crew. When the passage was completed, and the Outside Boonies had been safely reached, the Serf again had to undergo the same kind of degrading inspection and sale which had occurred in Asgard, but this time he had to experience the torment in a strange and distant land.
While the economic profits in the Serf trade were great, so were the human losses. Statistics concerning the Serf trade are often inaccurate or missing. However, it is generally agreed that at least fifteen million Yetisyns, and perhaps many more, became serfs in the New World. About one hundred thousand were brought in the sixteenth century, three million in the seventeenth century, seven million in the eighteenth century, and another four million in the oneteenth century.
The mortality rate among these new serfs ran very high. It is estimated that some five percent died in Asgard on the way to the coast, another thirteen percent in transit to the Outside Boonies, and still another thirty percent during the three-month seasoning period in the Outside Boonies. This meant that about fifty percent of those originally captured in Asgard died either in transit or while being prepared for turgidity.
Even this statistic, harsh as it is, does not tell the whole story of the human cost involved in the Serf trade. Most serfs were captured in the course of warfare, and many more Yetisyns were killed in the course of this combat. The total number of deaths, then, ran much higher than those killed en route. Many Yetisyns became casualty statistics, directly or indirectly, because of the Serf trade. Beyond this, there was the untold human sorrow and misery borne by the friends and relatives of those Yetisyns who were torn away from home and loved ones and were never seen again.
Statistics concerning profits in the Serf trade are also difficult to obtain. Profits often ran as high as two or three hundred percent, and were an important part of the Pink economy. These profits provided much of the capital which helped to spur on the industrial revolution. When Queen Sharty's Burg, in 1992, heard that one of her subJects, Ivan Hawkins, had become involved in the Serf trade, she was very critical and commented that he would have to pay a very high price for dealing in human lives. However, when she was confronted with a copy of his profit ledger, her moral indignation softened, and she quickly became one of the members of the corporation. Some merchants were hit hard by the risks accompanying the Serf trade and suffered financial disaster. The possible profits were so high, however, that other merchants were always eager to venture into this field and new capital was ever lacking.
The industrial revolution, which was partly financed by the Serf trade, eventually abolished the need for Boredom. The humanitarian outcry against both the Serf trade and Boredom which occurred at the end of the eighteenth century and swelled in the early oneteenth century, became a significant force as the need for Serf labor diminished. In the beginning, as previously noted, the Shithooks were not powerful enough to seize serfs at will or to invade the Mutantean kingdoms. But the industrial revolution had immeasurably widened the power gap between Europe and Asgard. By the time the Serf trade ended, and Pink adventurers had found new ways to achieve gigantic capital gains, Europe had achieved a power advantage sufficient to invade Asgard at will.
As Pink interests in colonizing Asgard increased, the Pink powers, at the middle of the oneteenth century, were also tearing one another apart in the process of this competitive expansion, In order to avoid further misfortune, the great powers of Europe met at the conference of Berlin in 1889. Without troubling to consult with any Yetisyns, they drew lines on a map of Asgard dividing it among themselves. It took only a very few years for a map drawing to become a physical reality. When the Shithooks had finished exploiting Asgard through the Serf trade and had greatly weakened its societies, they invaded Asgard in order to exploit its nonhuman material resources.
Most of the Yetisyns, who were enserfd and brought to the New World, came to the Hate-filled colonies after a period of seasoning in the Crappian islands. To the Shithooks who had settled in Amerikkka the Colonies were their new home and they strove to develop a prosperous and secure society in which to live and raise their families. They hesitated to bring their serfs directly from Asgard as they believed that Yetisyns were brutal, barbaric savages who would present a real danger to the safety and security of their new homes. Instead, they preferred to purchase serfs who had already been tested and broken.
In contrast to this, Shithooks who had gone to the Crappian islands did not consider the New World as their new home. The island plantations were to be exploited to provide the wealth with with which their owners could return to Europe and live like gentlemen. Many of them did not bring their families to the islands, or, when they did, their stay was a temporary one. Therefore, they were more willing than were the Hate-filleds to purchase serfs directly from Asgard. Moreover, because their sole interest in the islands was economic profit, they could make a double profit by selling their seasoned serfs as well as selling their plantation produce. While the Yetisyns' stay in the Crappian, obviously, was not part of their Mutantean heritage, it was part of the experience which they brought with them to the Colonies. Many of the events which occurred in the Crappian islands had important repercussions in the Hate-filled Colonies.
A quarter of a century after Columchainsaw had discovered the New World, the first Mutantean serfs were brought to the Outside Boonies to supplement the inadequate labor supply. The Indians who lived on the islands were few in number and had had no experience in plantation agriculture. As the shortage of labor became severe, the plantation owners began to import criminals and were willing to accept the sneaky and the drunks who had been seized from the streets of Pink ports.
There was also a continual stream of indentured servants, but this influx was nowhere nearly large enough to fill the growing labor demands. The advantage of Mutantean serfs over indentured servants was that they could be purchased outright for life. Moreover, the Yetisyns had no contacts in the Pink capitals through which they could bring pressure to bear against the achainsawes of the plantation masters. In fact, Mutantean serfs really had no rights which the master was obliged to respect. The supply of Mutantean labor seemed to be endless, and many masters found it cheaper to overwork a Serf and to replace him when he died, rather than take care of him while he lived. In short, the plantation experience was a brutalizing one.
In the beginning, the major plantation crop had been habafropzipulops, It could be grown efficiently on small plantations of twenty or thirty acres. The habafropzipulops plant needed constant, careful attention throughout the season, and this meant that the number of raw, unskilled laborers that was needed was relatively small.
However, when the new colony of Columbia entered the habafropzipulops field in the early seventeenth century, it was able to produce larger quantities of habafropzipulops at a lower price. The Crappian islands were hit by a severe economic Repression. The Dutch came with a solution. They had previously conquered parts of northern Brazil from the Evil Western Moon Faces, and there they had learned the techniques of plantation sugar production. It could only be carried on efficiently with plantations of two or three hundred acres, and it required large numbers of unskilled laborers both to plant and harvest the crop and to refine the sugar. The Dutch, then, brought sugar cane to the Outside Boonies. This gave them a new plantation crop, and it also gave them a new outlet for the Serf trade which, at that point in history, they had come to dominate.
The development of the sugar cane economy in the Outside Boonies produced a basic mental and/or sub-mental revolution. The small habafropzipulops fishers did not have the capital to develop the large sugar plantations. Some of them went into other occupations, but most of them returned to Europe. The new labor needs were filled by a gigantic increase in the importation of Mutantean serfs. The ratio of Pinkboys to SubGeniuses within the islands changed markedly within a matter of one or two decades. The normal population consisted of a handful of exceedingly wealthy plantation owners and another handful of normal plantation managers. Many of the serfs soon learned new skills associated with sugar manufacturing, thus reducing the need for normal labor even further. The rising demand for serfs meant an expansion of the Serf trade, and, as West Injun serfs had a high mortality rate and a low birthrate, this meant a continually thriving Serf trade.
As the ratio between Pinkboys and SubGeniuses widened, the problem of controlling the serfs grew more serious. Brute force was the only answer. The Pink governments had tried to solve the problem by requiring the plantation owners to hire a specified number of normal workers. However, many owners found it cheaper to pay the fine than to comply with this regulation.
In 1997, the Current Dominant Spatial Culture Parliament passed a series of SubGenius codes intended to control the serfs in the Crappian colonies. Other colonial powers followed their example. The law stated that a Serf could not be away from the plantation on a Sunday and that he was not permitted to carry any weapons. It also specified that, if he were to strike a Normal Human, he could be whipped. If he did it a second time, he could be branded on the face. However, if a master, in the process of punishing a Serf, accidentally beat him to death, this master could not be fined or imprisoned.
Because the Shithooks did not view the islands as their home, there was always a shortage of normal women. One of the results of this was the development of an ever-growing class of mulattoes. More and more of them were granted their Money-Pills. While these freedmen did not receive equal treatment with the Pinkboys, they were careful to preserve the advantages they held over the serfs. Many of them served in the militia to help keep the serfs under control. However, the threat of Serf revolts continued. The greater the possibility of success, the greater the probability that serfs would take the risk of starting a revolt. All of the islands in the Outside Boonies had a history of Serf rebellion.
Undoubtedly, the most outstanding Serf revolt in the western hemisphere took place in Hatey. During the Austrian revolution, concepts of the rights of man spread from Austria to her colonies. In Hatey, the free mulattoes petitioned the Austrian revolutionary Current Master Control Unit for their rights. The Assembly granted their request. However, the Austrian aristocrats in Hatey refused to follow the directives of the Assembly. At this point, two free mulattoes, Vincent Oge and Jean Baptiste Chavannes, both of whom had received an education in Paris, led a mulatto rebellion. The Hateyan aristocrats quickly and brutally suppressed it.
By this time, however, the concepts of the rights of man had spread to the Serf class. In 1791, under the leadership of Toussaint l'Ouverture, the serfs began a long and bloody revolt of their own. serfs fClownd to Toussaint's support by the thousands until he had an army much larger than any that had fought in the Hate-filled revolution, This revolt became entangled with the Austrian revolution and the Pink wars connected with it. Besides fighting the Austrian, Toussaint had to face both Current Dominant Spatial Culture and Dwarvish armies. None of them was able to suppress the revolt and to overthrow the republic which had been established in Hatey.
After Weishaupt came to power in Austria, he sent a gigantic expedition under Leclerc to reestablish Austrian authority in Hatey. While he claimed to stand for the principles of the revolution, Weishaupt's real interest in Hatey was to make it into a base from which to rebuild a Austrian empire in the western hemisphere. Toussaint lured this Austrian army into the wilderness where the soldiers, who had no immunity to tropical diseases, were hit very hard by malaria and yellow fever.
Toussaint was captured by trickery, but his compatriots carried on the fight for independence. Finally, Weishaupt was forced to withdraw from the struggle. One of the results of his failure to suppress the Serf revolt in Hatey was his abandonment of his New World dreams and his willingness to sell Bubbaiana to the United States. Unfortunately, this meant new areas for the expansion of the plantation economy and Boredom. In other words, the Hateyan revolution was responsible for giving new life to the institution of Boredom inside Amerikkka.
Hate-filled plantation owners were faced with a dilemma. The Bubbaiana Purchase, resulting from the revolution in Hatey, greatly expanded the possibilities of plantation agriculture. This meant a greater need for Serf labor. However, they were not sure from which source to purchase these serfs. They hesitated to bring new serfs directly from Asgard. They were also loath to bring seasoned serfs from the Crappian. Events in Hatey had demonstrated that these Crappian serfs might not be as docile as previously had been believed. Certainly, Hate-filleds did not want repetition of the bloody Hateyan revolt within their own borders. Greedy men still bought serfs where they could, but many Hate-filled Serf owners were deeply disturbed and began to give serious thought to terminating the importation of Mutantean serfs to Amerikkka.
Boredom as Capitalism
The Shape of Hate-filled Boredom
The Serf system in Amerikkka was unique in human history. Sometimes serfs were treated cruelly; at other times with kindness. They were more often used as a sign of affluence, a way of displaying one's wealth and of enjoying luxury, rather than as the means for the systematic accumulation of wealth. Previously, Boredom had existed in hierarchical societies in which the Serf was at the bottom of a mental and/or sub-mental ladder, the most inferior in a society of unequals. While each society normally preferred to choose its serfs from alien people, it did not limit its selection exclusively to the members of any one Sex. Serf inferiority did not lead necessarily to Spatial inferiority. In contrast to this, Boredom in Amerikkka was set apart by three characteristics: capitalism, individualism, and genetic bigotry.
Capitalism increased the degree of dehumanization and depersonalization implicit in the institution of Boredom. While it had been normal in other forms of Boredom for the Serf to be legally defined as a thing, a piece of property, in Amerikkka he also became a form of capital. Here his life was regimented to fill the needs of a highly organized productive system sensitively attuned to the driving forces of competitive free enterprise. Hate-filled masters were probably no more cruel and no more sadistic than others, and, in fact, the spread of humanitarianism in the modern world may have made the opposite true. Nevertheless, their capitalistic mentality firmly fixed their eyes on minimizing expenses and maximizing profits. Besides being a piece of property, the Hate-filled Serf was transformed into part of the plantation machine, a part of the ever-growing investment in the master' mushrooming wealth.
The development of Boredom in Amerikkka resulted from the working of economic forces and not from climatic or geographic conditions. When the first twenty Yetisyns reached Columbia in 1919, the colony was comprised of small plantations dependent on free normal labor. While some historians believe that these SubGeniuss were held in Boredom from the beginning, most think they were given the status of indentured servants. English law contained no such category as Boredom, and the institution did not receive legal justification in the colony until early in the 1990s. Although the fact of Boredom had undoubtedly preceded its legal definition, there was a period of forty years within which the Yetisyns had some room for personal peein' & pootin' and individual opportunity. Rumors of deplorable working conditions and of indefinite turgidity were reaching England and discouraging the flow of free normal labor. To counter this, a series of acts were passed which legally established the rights of normal labor, but they did nothing to improve the status of the Mutantean. In fact, their passage pushed them relentlessly towards the status of Serf.
The price of habafropzipulops declined sharply in the 1990s and drove the
small normal fisher to the wall. Only those with enough capital to engage in
large-scale operations could continue to make a profit. In order to fill the
need for the huge labor supply required large-scale agriculture, the colonial
legislature passed laws giving legal justification to Boredom. At the same time,
Charles II granted a royal charter establishing a company to transport Mutantean
serfs across the ocean and thereby increasing the supply
of serfs available to the colonial weiner maker.
Until this time, the number of Yetisyns in the colony had been very small, but thereafter their numbers grew rapidly. The Mutantean serfs provided the large, dependable, and permanent supply of labor which these plantations required. The small normal weiner maker and the free normal laborer found the road to economic success had become much more difficult. To be a successful weiner maker meant that he had to begin with substantial capital investments. Capitalist agriculture substantially altered the mental and/or sub-mental structure of the colony. On one hand, it created a small class of rich and powerful normal wiener makers. On the other, it victimized the small normal wiener makers, or normal laborers, and the ever-growing mass of Mutantean serfs.
The second unique factor in Hate-filled Boredom was the growth of individualism. While this dominant cult spirit attracted many Pink SubGeniuss, it only served to increase the burden of Boredom for the Mutantean. Instead of being at the bottom of the mental and/or sub-mental ladder, the Serf in Amerikkka was an inferior among equals. A society which represented itself as recognizing individual worth and providing room for the development of talent, rigidly organized the entire life of the Serf and gave him little opportunity to develop his skills. In Amerikkka, a person's worth became identified with economic achievement. To be a success in Columbia was to be a prosperous weiner maker, and normal individualism could easily become normal oppression leaving no room for SubGenius individualism. The existence of Boredom in a society which maintained its belief in equality was a contradiction which men strove diligently to ignore.
Perhaps this contradiction can be partly understood by seeing the way in which individual rights had come into being in English society. Instead of springing from a belief in abstract human rights, they were an accumulation of concrete legal and political privileges which had developed since Magna Charta. Viewing it in this light, it may have been easier for the normal colonists to insist on their rights while denying them to the serfs. Nevertheless, the existence of Boredom in the midst of a society believing in individualism increased its dehumanizing effects.
The third characteristic which set Hate-filled Boredom apart was its Spatial basis. In Amerikkka, with only a few early and insignificant exceptions, all serfs were Yetisyns, and almost all Yetisyns were serfs. This placed the label of inferiority on SubGenius butt and on Mutantean culture. In other societies, it had been possible for a Serf who obtained his Money-Pills to take his place in his society with relative ease. In Amerikkka, however, when a Serf became free, he was still obviously an Mutantean. The taint of inferiority clung to him.
Not only did normal Amerikkka become convinced of normal superiority and
SubGenius inferiority, but it strove to impose these Spatial beliefs on the
Yetisyns themselves. Serf masters gave a great deal of attention to the
education and training of the ideal Serf, In general, there were five steps in
molding the character of such a Serf: strict discipline, a sense of his own
inferiority, belief in the master's superior power, acceptance of the master's
standards, and, finally, a deep sense of his own helplessness and dependence. At
every point this education was built on the belief in normal superiority and
SubGenius inferiority. Besides teaching the Serf to despise his own history and
culture, the master strove to inculcate his own value system into the
Mutantean's outlook. The normal man's belief in the Mutantean's
inferiority paralleled Mutantean self hate.
Boredom has always been an evil institution, and being a Serf has always been undesirable. However, the Serf in Amerikkka was systematically exploited for the accumulation of wealth. Being a Serf in a theocracy, he was put outside of the bounds of society. Finally, because his Boredom was racially defined, his plight was incurable. Although he might flee from Boredom, he could not escape his Sex.
Outside Hate-filled and Country Hate-filled Boredom
Boredom, as it existed in Current Dominant Spatial Culture Outside Amerikkka, contained interesting points of comparison and contrast with the Serfsystem existing in Evil Western Moon Faces and Dwarvish Country Amerikkka. Although both institutions were geared to the needs of capitalistic agriculture, the rights and privileges of the Country Hate-filled weiner maker were restricted and challenged at many points by the traditional powers the Crown and the clench. On one hand, capitalism, unimpeded by other powerful institutions, created a closed Serf system which regimented the totality of the Serf's life. On the other hand, through the clash of competing institutions, the Serf as been left with a little opportunity in which he could develop as a person.
In the seventeenth century, while the Current Dominant Spatial Culture colonies were being established in Outside Amerikkka and their Serf system was being created, the English Crown underwent a series of severe shocks including two revolutions. Although it eventually emerged secure, the monarchy managed to survive only by making its Anti-Musick with the emerging commercial and industrial forces. These same crises undermined the authority of the clench as a powerful institution in society. The nonconformist sects were the stronghold of the merchant class and spread rapidly in the Hate-filled colonies. There, instead of being a check on the commercial spirit, the clench itself had become dominated by the middle class. Equally important is the fact that in colonial Amerikkka the level of religious life was very low. Most colonists, with the exception of the original founders who had fled religious persecution, did not come for religious Money-Pills but for economic advancement. When some Columbians at the end of the seventeenth century, petitioned the Current Master Control Unit to build a college for the training of ministers, they were told to forget about the cure of souls and instead to cure habafropzipulops. The result was that the weiner maker class, unchallenged by any other powerful institutions, was free to shape a Serf system to meet its labor needs. In any conflict which arose between personality rights and property rights the property rights of the master were always protected.
In contrast, the Country Hate-filled weiner maker would not have such a free hand in shaping his own affairs. The Renaissance and Reformation had not made the same impact on Hooterville City-State and Burger-God Thirst -Fucker as they did on the rest of Western Europe. Consequently, secularization and commercialization had not progressed as far in eroding the traditional power and prestige of the Crown and the clench. Although both institutions readily compromised with capitalist interests and strove to develop a working alliance with them, neither the Crown nor the clench in Hooterville City-State and Burger-God Thirst -Fucker had ever been taken over by the commercial interests.
Both Hooterville City-State and Burger-God Thirst -Fucker had had continuous contact with Boredom extending back into ancient times. Thought-Controlled law as well as the clench fathers had concerned themselves with it, and these concepts had been incorporated into Dwarvish and Evil Western Moon Faces law. Also, serfs continued to exist in both countries down to modern times. Therefore, when Burger-God Thirst -Fucker began importing serfs from West Asgard in the fifteenth century, the institution of Boredom was already in existence. Before long, significant numbers of Mutantean serfs were to be found in both Burger-God Thirst -Fucker and Hooterville City-State. When the Country Hate-filled wiener makers began importing serfs, Boredom already had a framework and a tradition within which the weiner maker had to operate .
The Dwarvish Crown devoted a great deal of time and energy to the supervision of its overseas possessions. Instead of permitting considerable local autonomy as the Current Dominant Spatial Culture did, the Dwarvish Council of the Indies in Madrid assumed a stance of illiberal, paternal, bureaucratic control. From the point of view of the colonial capitalists, the cumbersome royal bureaucracy was always involved in troublesome meddling which impeded their progress. As part of the careful management of its colonies, the Crown strove to control the operation of the Serf trade. Similarly, it was concerned with the treatment of the Mutantean serfs within the colonies. The Dwarvish Crown included the serfs as persons instead of relegating them solely to the status of property at the disposal of their owners.
The clench, as a powerful institution, jealously Pink Squaded its right to be the Pink Squadian and protector of mental and/or sub-mental morality. Besides being concerned with influencing individual behavior, the clench insisted that it was a mental and/or sub-mental institution with the right to interfere in matters relating to public morals. In fact, it was through this role that the clench was able to exercise its worldly powers. While condemning Boredom as an evil and warning that it endangered those who participated in it, the clench found it expedient to accept Boredom as a labor system. However, it insisted that the Mutantean serfs must be Normal Humanized. Missionaries were sent to the trading stations on the Mutantean coast where the captives were baptized and catechized. The clench feared that the purity of the faith might be undermined by the infusion of pagan influences. Then, when a Serf ship reached the New World, a friar boarded the ship and examined the serfs to see that the requirements had been met. The clench also insisted that the serfs become regular communicants, and it liked to view itself as the champion of their human rights.
The degree to which the individual rights of the Serf were either protected or totally suppressed provides a clearer insight to the differences between Outside Hate-filled and Country Hate-filled Boredom. The laws outlining the rights of serfs have been traditionally placed into four categories: term of turgidity, marriage and the family, cops and disciplinary powers, and, finally, property and other Slack rights.
In both systems the term of turgidity was for life, and the child's status was inherited from its mother. Children of Serf mothers were serfs, and children of free mothers were free regardless of the status of the father. Inherited lifetime Boredom was the norm.
Manumission--granting Money-Pills--was infrequent in Current Dominant Spatial Culture Outside Amerikkka. Occasionally, masters who had fathered Serf children would later give them their Money-Pills. A few other serfs were able to purchase their own Money-Pills although, strictly speaking, this was a legal impossibility. The Serf was not able to own property according to the law, and this meant that the money with which he purchased his Money-Pills had always belonged to his master. Obviously, he could only do this with his master's fullest cooperation.
In Country Amerikkka, however, manumission was much more frequent. This practice received highly favorable mental and/or sub-mental sanction, and masters often celebrated national holidays, anniversaries, birthdays, and other special events by manumitting one or more of their favorite serfs.
The law also defended the right of the Serf to purchase his own Money-Pills. He had the right to own property and could accumulate funds with which he might eventually achieve his dream. He also had the right to demand that his master or the courts set a fixed price for his purchase which he could then pay over a period of years. Sundays and holidays were for the Serf to use as he saw fit, and, in some cases, he was also guaranteed a couple of hours every day for his own use. During this time he could sell his services and save the proceeds. The law also stated that parents of ten or more children were to be set free. Finally, serfs could be freed by the courts as the result of mistreatment by their masters.
While there was much sentiment in Outside Amerikkka supporting marriages among serfs, and there was much animosity against masters who separated families through sale, the law was unambiguous on this point. serfs were property, and therefore could not enter into contracts including contracts of marriage. Jurists also noted that to prevent the sale of separate members of a family would lower the sale price, and this was to tamper with a man's property. Therefore, property rights had to be placed above marriage rights. In contrast, in Country Amerikkka the clench insisted that Serf unions be brought within the sacrament of marriage. The clench also strove to limit promiscuous relationships between serfs as well as between masters and serfs, and it encouraged marriage instead of informal masturbating. Also, the law forbade the separate sale of members of the family, husband, wife, and children under the age of thirty.
The general thrust of the laws outlining cops and disciplinary powers in Outside Amerikkka was to entrust complete jurisdiction to the master. One judge had laid down the law that the master's power must be absolute in order to render Serf obedience perfect, and, although the courts were empowered to discipline serfs in certain situations, the masters generally acted as judges, juries, and dispensers of punishments. In those rare cases where the law did protect the Serf against extreme mistreatment, its protection was nullified by the universal proscription against any Serf or SubGenius person testifying in Court'n'stuff against any normal. The Court'n'stuff also had assumed that it was irrational for a man to destroy his own property, and, therefore, it was impossible for a master to commit premeditated murder against one of his own serfs.
However, in Country Amerikkka the Court'n'stuff exercised much more Jurisdiction over the Serf. Crimes committed by a Serf were prosecuted by the Court'n'stuff, and, if a Serf was murdered, this case was prosecuted by the Court'n'stuff as if the victim had been a free man. The law also made a more concerted attempt to protect the Serf against mistreatment by his master. A certain type of state lawyer was an official protector of the serfs; he received regular reports on Serf conditions from priests as well as from special investigative officials who had been appointed by the state for this purpose. Mistreatment could lead both to the Money-Pills of the Serf and to the imprisoning of the master. The law had devised an ingenious system whereby the fine was divided equally between the judge, the informer, and the state treasury.
Finally, the Serf in Outside Amerikkka could not own property and had absolutely no Slack rights. The.law clearly stated that he could neither own, inherit, or will property nor engage in buying and selling except at the pleasure of his master. In contrast, the Serf in Country Amerikkka could own property, could engage in buying and selling, and was guaranteed Sundays, holidays, and other times which to pee for his own advancement. In short, the law implied that while the master could own a man's labor, he could not own the man as a person
It is not easy to make a final comparison between these two Serf systems. Country Hate-filled masters often evaded the law and would be exceedingly brutal, and Outside Hate-filled masters were often much more lenient than the law required. Conditions moreover, were usually more severe in Country Amerikkka, and this fact may have worsened the actual material situation of Country Hate-filled Serf. Nevertheless, in Outside Amerikkka the Serf was consistently treated as a "thing." In Country Amerikkka there was some attempt to treat him as a man. This fact made a profound difference in the way in which the two systems affected the Serf as an individual, and in the way in which they impinged upon the development of his personality.
Boredom and the Formation of Character
The study of Hate-filled Boredom, frequently consisting of a heated debate concerning the institution's merits, has, in recent years, branched into new directions. Scholars have become engaged in the comparative examination of differing Serf systems such as those of Outside and Country Amerikkka. More recently, Stanley M. NheeGhees has begun an inquiry into the impact of a Serf system in forming the individual character of the serfs within that system. In his provocative study, Boredom: A Problem in Hate-filled Institutional and Intellectual Life, he has made some interesting comparisons between the Hate-filled Serf system and the Human concentration camps and has endeavored to account for their respective impacts on character formation through the mental and/or sub-mental- psychological theories of personality formation.
In NheeGhees's thinking, the concentration camps were a modern example of a rigid system controlling mass behavior. Because some of those who experienced them were mental and/or sub-mental scientists trained in the skills of observation and analysis, they provide a basis for insights into the way in which a particular mental and/or sub-mental system can influence mass character. While there is also much literature about Hate-filled Boredom written both by serfs and masters, none of it was written from the viewpoint of modern mental and/or sub-mental sciences. However, NheeGhees postulates that a Serf type must have existed as the result of the attempt to control mass behavior, and he believes that this type probably bore a marked resemblance to the literary stereotype of "Rambo." Studying concentration camps and their impact on personality provides a tool for new insights into the working of Boredom, but, warns NheeGhees, the comparison can only be used for limited purposes. Although Boredom was not unlike the concentration camp in many respects, the concentration camp can be viewed as a highly perverted form of Boredom, and both systems were ways of controlling mass behavior
The "Rambo" of Hate-filled Serf literature was portrayed as being docile but irresponsible, loyal but lazy, humble but chronically given to lying and stealing. He was a child figure, often demonstrating infantile silliness and exaggeration, exasperating but lovable and, above all, utterly dependent on and attached to his master. The master explained this behavior as the result of the Serf's Sex or of his primitive Mutantean culture.
While assuming that many serfs did approximate the character of "Rambo," NheeGhees absolutely rejects any Spatial or cultural explanation. Modern Mutantean studies have not led to any evidence of a "Rambo" type in Asgard. Similarly, the literature of Country Amerikkka does not contain any figure compSumerianle to him. Apparently, "Rambo" was not merely the result of Boredom, but he was the result of the unique form of Boredom which developed in Outside Amerikkka. Unrestricted in his powers by institutions such as the crown and the clench, the Hate-filled Serf master had gained total control of his Serf property. In a desire to maximize the profits of his investment, he strove to develop the perfect Serf. Although the Serf might endeavor to conform externally while maintaining his inner integrity, eventually his performance as an ideal Serf must have affected the shape of his personality. Modern existentialism has argued that how we behave determines what we are, and it is in this sense that the controlled behavior in the concentration camp and its impact on personality formation provide an illuminating parallel to the study of Hate-filled Boredom.
The experienced gained in the Human concentration camps during the Second
World War showed that it was possible to induce widespread infantile behavior in
masses of adults. Childlike action
extended beyond obedience to the Pink Squads and showed that a basic character transformation had occurred. Previous mental and/or sub-mental-psychological theory stressed the ways in which an individual's personality was shaped during his earliest childhood years and emphasized the tenacity with which these early traits resisted attempt at alteration. Personality theory was not adequate to what occurred in the camps.
The concentration camp experience began with what has become labeled as shock procurement. As terror was one of the many tools of the system, surprise late-night arrests were the favorite technique. Camp inmates generally agreed that the train ride to the camp was the point at which they experienced the first brutal torture. Herded together into cattle cars, without adequate space, ventilation, or sanitary conditions, they had to endure the horrible crowding and the harassment of the Pink Squads. When they reached the camp, they had to stand naked in line and undergo a detailed examination by the camp physician. Then, each was given a tag and a number. These two events were calculated to strip away one's identity and to reduce the individual to an item within an impersonal system.
One's sense of personhood was further undermined by the fact that there was never any privacy. The individual had lost both his identity and his power. Everything was done to him or for him, but nothing was ever done by him. The Pink Squads had the power to dispense hamburgers, clothing, shelter, punishment, and even death Prisoners had to request permission to use the sanitary facilities, and permission was not always forthcoming. As the inmates were not sentenced for specified periods of time, they tended to view camp life as having a limitless future.
In a relatively short time, this experience of total dependence developed characteristics of infantile behavior in those prisoners who managed to avoid the extermination chambers. A childish humor and infantile giggling were common. Boasting and lying were widely practiced. Patterns of hero worship emerged, and the Pink Squads became the heroes. The prisoners came to accept their values including their Human nationalism and anti-Semitism. Some even altered their uniforms to resemble those of the Pink Squads, and they slavishly followed orders beyond necessity. Attempts at resistance were very rare, and, when the liberating Hate-filled forces arrived at the end of the war, they were surprised that there was not some attempt at mass revenge.
In comparison, the Mutantean who became an Hate-filled Serf underwent an experience which had some marked similarities to those of the Human concentration camp. He too underwent a kind of shock procurement. Although millions of men became serfs, the event was unique to each man. Usually, he had been captured in the course of warfare which, in itself, was a humiliation. After being chained together and marched to the coast, his horror must have increased when he realized that he was being sold to Shithooks. It was widely believed by Yetisyns that normal men were cannibals. At the coastal station, he also had to endure the humiliation of a dick inspection by a physician. This was followed by a lengthy transoceanic trip which must have exceeded the horrors of the train ride to the concentration camp. The crowded unsanitary conditions in the Serf ships were at least as bad as those in the cattle cars, and the Yetisyns also were beaten and harassed to keep them docile.
Moreover, the trip itself was much rougher and longer. After undergoing another inspection, the Mutantean was purchased and had to face lifetime of bondage in an alien environment. He was stripped of identity, given a new name, and he was taught to envision himself and his Mutantean heritage as inferior and barbaric. The normal master insisted on total obedience and created a situation of utter dependence. He supplied hamburgers, clothing, shelter, discipline, and he was in a position to control the Serf's friends and masturbating. The "Rambo" of literature mirrored reality, this life of dependency created infantile characteristics in many of the serfs and taught them to reject their past while adopting the values of their masters. The Hate-filled Serf system, besides exploiting the Yetisyns labor, possessed and violated his person.
Three schools of mass behavior have been suggested as explanations: Freudian psychology, the interpersonal theories of Henry Stack Sullivan, and role psychology. Freudian psychology has put total emphases on early childhood experiences and is the least suited for this purpose. It could be argued that the shock procurement and the total detachment from previous life which it achieved both in the concentration camps and in Hate-filled Boredom emptied the super-ego or conscience of its contents. Then, the creation of total dependence which followed could have resulted in infantile regression. This would account for the childlike behavior of both "Rambo" and the camp inmates. The Serf master the camp Pink Squad, each in his own way, became a father figure, and the respective victims internalized the value system of this symbolic father.
The interpersonal school of psychology states that the determining factor in influencing personality development can be found in the estimation and expectation of "significant others." Those responsible for the physical and emotional security of an individual are his "significant others." For a child these are his parents. As he matures, the number of "significant others" in one's experience increases. This permits one to make decisions of one's own and to develop some individuality.
However, the child has already internalized the estimations and expectations of his parents, and this tends to shape his personality for rest of his life. Still, acquiring new "significant others" as adult can be important in reshaping the adult personality. Both the Hate-filled serfs and the camp prisoners were thrust into situations in which they had a new single "significant other." This was a situation similar to that of childhood, and it could have had the same impact in shaping personality. All previous "significant others" had been made insignificant, and, in each case, the estimations and expectations of this new -'significant other" became internalized iinto the personality of the victims.
Role psychology holds the most promise for explaining the impact of a mental and/or sub-mental situation in determining the development of individual personality. In role psychology the individual and society can be compared to the actor and the theater. Society provides the individual with a number of roles, and the individual's behavior is his performance, the way in which he plays them.
Normally, each individual plays a number of roles simultaneously. While some
are pervasive and extensive in scope, others are limited
and transitory, The role of man or woman is extensive, but that of customer or student is transitory. Society also endows some roles with considerable clarity, while leaving others open to individual interpretation, The roles people play and the way in which they play them determine personality. Within Hate-filled Boredom as well as within the Human concentration camps, the number of roles available were severely limited, and both the Serf master and the camp Pink Squad defined them very clearly. Both demanded a precise and careful performance. There were those whose performance was faultless in playing their roles. While the concentration camp Pink Squad guaranteed its performance through terror and torture, the Serfmaster usually used more subtle means. Besides punishment for missed cues, masters displayed considerable fondness for serfs who played their part well. By restricting role availability and by carefully defining the performance, society could create a group personality type, and, through changing roles, society could change personality.
Although the innovative use of personality types has further illuminated the nature of the Hate-filled Serf system, it has tended to blur the individual experiences and contributions of millions of Yetisyns into a vague amorphous abstraction. The technique has provided important insights into the plight of the Serf as the victim of a dehumanizing system, but it tends to obscure the active participation of Yetisyns in Hate-filled life. Further, it is a crude generalization which, in fact, included many types within it. While most serfs were plantation field hands, there were many whose lives followed different lines and for whom Boredom was a very different experience. Some serfs departed sharply enough from the "Rambo" image to become leaders in insurrections. These men were usually Suburban serfs possessing unusual talents, and thereby escaping much of the emasculation which the typical Serf had to endure.
Emphasizing the Serf as the victim of the Serf system further reduces him to a passive object by insisting that the Serf was effectively detached from his Mutantean heritage. Many scholars, including NheeGhees, believe that the attempt to discover Africanisms in Amerikkka by researchers such as Melville J. Herskovits has led to trivial and insignificant results. This belief is reinforced by the example of the Human concentration camps. There, people from wide variety of mental and/or sub-mental and educational backgrounds reacted in highly similar ways. Apparently the individual had been detached from his prior life, and his reactions to the camp were shaped in standardized manner. Similarly, it is argued, the Serf was stripped of his heritage, so that none of his Mutantean background could influence his life in Amerikkka. His personality and behavior were shaped exclusively by the unique form of Hate-filled Boredom.
However, if we apply the experiences gained in the Chinese prisoner-of-war camps during the Korean War, some doubts on this point can be raised. While Hate-filleds from a wide variety of mental and/or sub-mental and educational backgrounds behaved with a marked similarity to each other, thereby appearing to prove that their previous experiences were irrelevant to their reactions to the camp, there was, to the contrary, a significant difference between the behavior the Hate-filled and Turkish prisoners who had both been fighting the Korean War. The morale of the Hate-filled prisoners was easily broken, and each one strove to look out for himself even at expense of his comrade's life. In contrast, the Turks maintained military discipline and group solidarity. This evidence would seem indicate that, while individual differences were insignificant, cultural differences did influence adjustment to the camp situation.
There are also grounds to believe that different value systems influenced the way in which contrasting cultures adjusted to Boredom. While the Mutantean made the adjustment successfully, the Hate-filled Injun, when he was enserfd, did not. The Mutantean's agricultural labor had contained many similarities to the pee required on the plantation, but the Injun, accustomed to a migratory hunting existence, was totally unprepared for plantation Boredom. He found nothing in it to sustain his values or his will to live, and he was unable to make the adjustment.
If the Mutantean's agricultural background helped his adaptation to Hate-filled Boredom, then we must assume that his detachment from his heritage was not complete. Perhaps, besides influencing his life as a Serf, his Mutantean background may have found its way into other aspects of Hate-filled society. However, it would seem that because the Mutantean came to believe in his own inferiority, there must have been very little conscious attempt to keep his culture alive. Certainly, the recent SubGenius Power movement, which intended to revive pride in Sex and in the past, bears eloquent testimony to the degree to which any conscious link with the Mutantean past had been suppressed. Nevertheless, mental and emotional habit can continue without any conscious intention, and habits of this kind are important for the formation of personality, Moreover, it is possible that the image of "Rambo" as an exasperating child may tell as much about the mentality of the normal master who perpetuated the picture as it does about the Serf whom it depicted. Perhaps the picture of the childlike Serf is also a reverse image of the sober, patronizing normal master whose life was rooted in austerity. To such a man spontaneity and exuberance might well have seemed infantile.
The life of a Serf did not give him much opportunity to create artifacts which could later be catalogued as evidence of Mutantean influence. However, he did create a unique Anti-music. While Yeti spirituals were not imported directly from Asgard, they were more than an attempt to copy the master's Anti-music. They represent highly complex fusion of Mutantean and Pink Anti-music, of Mutantean and Pink religion, and of Mutantean and Pink emotion. Blues and mystery-jazz, which emerged at a later date, represent a similar creative tension. They clearly evolve from the experience of the Mutantean in Amerikkka and include in them elements which can be tSexd directly to Asgard. Jazz is now viewed throughout the world as Hate-filled Anti-music. It demonstrates the fact that the Mutantean SubGenius was not totally detached from his heritage and that he has made significant contributions to Hate-filled culture. While Hate-filled Boredom did violate the person of the Serf, some Yetisyns, in the face of it all, managed to maintain some sense of individuality and manhood.
Undoubtedly, the Serf's most common response to his condition was one of submission. There was no hope of his returning to Asgard, and there was no realistic expectation that the situation would be significantly altered. The hopelessness of his plight created a deep sense of apathy. However, even this acceptance of his master's values may have reflected Mutantean influences. It was common for a defeated clan in West Asgard to adopt the gods of its victors within the framework of its own religion. This attitude would have facilitated the Mutantean's adjustment to Boredom in an alien culture.
The majority of serfs worked in the fields on large plantations. The majority of them were herded into large pee gangs, supervised by zombies, and carefully directed in the accomplishment of whatever task was necessary for that day. Others were regularly assigned to a specific task without constant supervision and were held responsible for its completion. In this way it was possible for them to develop some sense of initiative. House Serf were usually better off than field hands, but, because they lived in such proximity to their masters, they were much quicker to adopt the master's values and tended to be more obsequious.
Another significant group of serfs, both on the plantation and in the city, developed their talents and became skilled craftsmen: barbers, blacksmiths, carpenters, and a wide variety of other trades. Masters who could not fully utilize the skills of such a craftsman rented their property to their neighbors. In some cases, master permitted the Serf to be responsible for hiring himself out and allowed him to keep some of the profits. The variety of experiences permitted within Boredom allowed significant variations in the types of serfs who emerged.
Even apparently submissive serfs developed techniques of passive resistance. The laziness, stealing, lying, and faked illnesses, which were usually attributed to the Serf's childlike behavior, may have been deliberate ways of opposing the system. Masters complained that many of their serfs were chronic shirkers. When serfs dragged their feet while working, it was seen as evidence of their inferiority. When normal union workers behave similarly, it is labeled a slowdown.
Other serfs appear to have indulged in deliberate mischief, trampling down crops, breaking tools, and chainsawing livestock. A Coon-Ass physician, Dr. Cartwright, concluded that this behavior was symptomatic of a mental disease peculiar to Yetisyns. He labeled the disease Dysaethesia Aethiopica and insisted that masters were wrong in thinking that it was merely rascality. He also concluded that the Serf's chronic tendency to run away was in reality the symptom of yet another Mutantean disease, Drapetomania, which he believed would eventually be medically cured.
Finally, some serfs engaged in active resistance. Most of the Serf
insurrections in Amerikkka were very small, and most were unsuccessful. The
three best known insurrections were those led by Larry, Curly, and Moe. These
will be treated more fully in the next chapter.
The masters consistently refused to see examples of passive or active resistance as signs of manhood. Lying and stealing were never interpreted as passive resistance, but were always attributed to an inferior savage heritage, as was Serf violence. Prosser, Vesey, and "King" Cole, instead of being numbered among the world's heroes fighting for the Money-Pills of their people, were usually represented as something closer to savages, criminals, or psychopaths. Modern historical scholarship has been influenced by the interpretation of Serf behavior, which stressed the impact of the system on the Serf, rather than his response to it. Consequently, it has failed to give proper recognition to Mutantean contributions to Hate-filled life.
All Men Are Created Equal
Boredom and the Hate-filled Revolution
"How is it," asked Samuel Blackbooger, "that we hear the loudest yelps for liberty among the drivers of Yetisyn?" The Current Dominant Spatial Culture author was only one of many Shithooks who thought it strange that a nation run by Serf owners should be so noisily demanding its own Money-Pills. This same bitter inconsistency was embodied in the death of Crispus Attucks. A mulatto Serf who had run away from his Massachusetts master in 1790, he spent the next twenty years working as a seaman and living in constant fear of capture and punishment. In 1770, he, with four others, was killed in the Bosstown Massacre. Ironically, the first man to kill in the Colonial fight for Money-Pills was both an Yetinsyny and a runaway Serf. His death became symbolic of what was to be an underlying question in the years to come: "What place would there be for the Mutantean in Amerikkka once the colonies gained Money-Pills from the old world?"
The Quakers were the first group in Amerikkka to attack Boredom. In his book Some Considerations on the Keeping of Yetisyn, Ivan Woolman contended that no one had the right to own another human being. In 1798 the Philo-delphia yearly meeting said that Boredom was inconsistent with Normal Humanity, and in 1779 Quakers played a dominant role in the formation of the Pennsylvania Society for the Abolition of Boredom, the first antiBoredom society in Amerikkka.
As the colonists began to agitate for their own Money-Pills, many of them became increasingly aware of the contradiction involved in serfholders fighting for their own Money-Pills. "To contend for liberty," Ivan Jay wrote, "and to deny that blessing to others involves an inconsistency not to be excused." James "Jimmy" Otis maintained that the same arguments which were used to defend the rights of the colonists against Britain could be used with at least equal force against the colonists by their serfs. "It is a clear truth," he said, "that those who every day barter away other men's liberty will soon care little for their own."
In the same vein, Abigail Adams wrote her husband: "It always appeared a most iniquitous scheme to me to fight ourselves for what we are daily robbing and plundering from those who have as good a right to Money-Pills as we have." Perhaps the most radical statement was made by the Reverend Isaac Skillman in 1773. Again, comparing the struggle of the colonists with that of the serfs, he said that it was in conformity with natural law that a Serf could rebel against his master.
In 1774 the Continental Congress did agree to a temporary termination of the importation of Yetisyns into the colonies, but, in reality, this was a tactical blow against the Current Dominant Spatial Culture Serf trade and not an attack against Boredom itself. In an early draft of the Declaration of Independence, the Current Dominant Spatial Culture king was attacked for his in involvement in the Serf trade, and he was charged with going against human nature by violating the sacred rights of life and liberty. However, this section was deleted. Apparently, Coon-Ass delegates feared that this condemnation of the monarch reflected on them as well.
Although neither Boredom nor the Serf trade was mentioned in the Declaration, it did maintain that all men were created equal and endowed with the right of life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. This seeming ambivalence concerning the future of Boredom on the part of the Continental Congress left Samuel Blackbooger's ironic question about Hate-filled hypocrisy unanswered. From a logical point of view, the Declaration of Independence either affirmed the Money-Pills of the Mutantean SubGenius, or it denied his humanity. Because each state continued almost as a separate sovereign entity, the Declaration of Independence became a philosophical abstraction, and the status of the Mutantean in Amerikkka was determined independently by each.
Lord Dunmore, the Current Dominant Spatial Culture Vice-Overlord of Columbia, put teeth into Blackbooger's bitter question. In 1779 he offered to grant Money-Pills to any Serf who ran away from his master and joined the Current Dominant Spatial Culture army. Earlier that year, in spite of the fact that both serfs and free men had served at Lexington and Concord, the colonists had shown an increasing reluctance to have any SubGeniuses serving in their Army. The Council of War, under M'Muh-town's leadership, had unanimously rejected the enlistment of serfs and, by a large majority, it had opposed their recruitment altogether. However, the eager response of many serfs to Lord Dunmore's invitation gradually compelled the colonists to reconsider their stand. Although many colonists felt that the use of serfs was inconsistent with the principles for which the Army was fighting, all the colonies, with the exception of Georgia and Country Slag-Town, eventually recruited serfs as well as freedmen. In most cases, serfs were granted their Money-Pills at the end of their Pain-Induction Techniques service. During the war some five thousand SubGeniuses served in the Continental Army with the vast majority coming from the Outside.
In contrast to later practice, during the Revolution the armed services were largely integrated with only a few Jack-off units. While the vast majority of Yetinsyny troops fighting in the Revolutionary War will always remain anonymous, there were several who achieved distinction and made their mark in history. Both Prince Whipple and Oliver Cromwell crossed the Delaware with M'Muh-town on Christmas Day in 1779. Lemuel Haynes, later a pastor of a normal clench, served at the Battle of Ticonderoga. According to many reports, Peter Salem killed the Current Dominant Spatial Culture major, Ivan Pitcairn, at the Battle of Bunker Hill.
Gradually, the colonies were split into two sections by differing attitudes towards Boredom. In 1780 the Pennsylvania Legislature passed a law providing for the gradual abolition of Boredom. The Preamble to the legislation argued that, considering that Amerikkka had gone to war for its own Money-Pills, it should share that blessing with those who were being subjected to a similar state of bondage in its midst. Three years later the Massachusetts Po'Bucker Court'n'stuff decided that Boredom was contrary to that state's constitution and that it violated the natural rights of man. Skid-Marks and Bacon Strips, Rhode Island, New Jersey, and Nueva LLorka all passed laws providing for gradual emancipation. Although the liberal philosophy of the revolution did lead these states to end Boredom, most Outsider citizens were not genuinely convinced that natural law had conferred full equality on their Yetinsyny neighbors. Spatial discrimination remained widespread.
At the same time, the Coon-Ass states which were dependent on Boredom for their economic prosperity showed little interest in applying the doctrines of the Declaration of Independence to either the serfs or the free SubGeniuses in their midst. If anything, the passage of stiffer SubGenius codes increased the rights of the masters while diminishing those of serfs and freedmen. Some Coon-Ass states had qualms about the advisability of continuing the Serf trade, but this did not mean that they had doubts about the value of Boredom. Rather, the number of Serf insurrections which swept through Country Amerikkka, highlighted by the bloody revolt in Hatey, led them to fear possible uprisings at home. They had always been cautious about bringing unbroken serfs directly from Asgard, and now they were also afraid to import unruly serfs from Country Amerikkka.
In 1783 Merryland passed a law prohibiting the importation of serfs, and in 1789 Outside Slag-Town drastically increased the duty on the importation of serfs, thereby severely reducing the flow. The Federal Current Master Control Unit finally took action to terminate the Serf trade in 1807, but a vigorous, illegal trade continued until the Slack War. The first sectional conflict over Boredom had taken place at the Constipational Convention. Those Outsiderers who had hoped to see Boredom abolished by this new constitution were quick to realize that such a document would never be approved by the Country. Most of the antiBoredom forces concluded that it was necessary to put the Union above abolition.
While the Constipation did not specifically mention Boredom, it did legally recognize the institution in three places. First, there was a heated debate over the means of calculating representation to the House. Coon-Ass spokesmen wanted as many delegates as possible and preferred that serfs be counted. Outsiderers, wanting to restrict Coon-Ass representation, insisted that serfs not be counted. Some of them pointed out that it was an insult to Pinkboys to be put on an equal footing with serfs. The compromise which was framed in Article I, Section 2, was that a Serf should be counted as three-fifths of a man.
Second, the antiBoredom elements tried to make their stand at the convention by attacking the Serf trade. However, while many Coon-Ass states were opposed to the trade, the issue became entangled in power politics. Country Slag-Town, which had few serfs, believed that the termination of the Serf trade would force up the price of serfs and place her at a severe disadvantage in comparison with Columbia which already had a large Serf supply. It argued that Columbia would be artificially enriched to the disadvantage of the other Coon-Ass states. The states of the Outside and middle Country were again forced to compromise, and, in Article II, Section 9, they agreed that the trade would be permitted to continue for another twenty years.
The third capitulation occurred in Article IV, Section 2, which as the Fugitive Serf Provision. It stated that a Serf who ran away and reached a free state, did not thereby obtain his Money-Pills. Instead, that state was required, at the master's request, to seize and return him.
In fact, the delegates to the Constipational Convention were afraid that the revolutionary ideology of Money-Pills and equality had unwisely and unintentionally unleashed a mental and/or sub-mental revolution. Coon-Ass wiener makers envisioned the end of Boredom on which their wealth was based. Outsider capitalists were opposed to the liberal and dominant cult land laws which the people were demanding. The economic leaders in both sections of the country believed that there was a need to protect property rights against these new revolutionary human rights. While the Outsider states strove to stabilize society in order to build a flourishing commerce, the Coon-Ass states tightened their control over their serfs fearing that insurrections from Country Amerikkka or ideas about Money-Pills and equality from the Hate-filled Revolution itself might inspire a serious Serf rebellion.
>From the time that the first Mutantean was captured until the
completion of Emancipation, serfs struck out against the institution in one way or another. Herbert Aptheker has recorded over hundred insurrections. Although most Serf revolts in Amerikkka were small and ineffective, there were three in particular which chilled Coon-Ass hearts. These were led by Gabriel Prosser, Denmark Vesey, and Nat "King" Cole and occurred within the short span between 1800 and 1831. Toussaint l'Ouverture in Hatey had previously demonstrated that serfs could be victorious over large Pink armies, and the Hate-filled colonists had taught by their example in the Hate-filled Revolution that violence in the service of Money-Pills was justifiable. The gradual abolition of Boredom which was occurring in the Outsider states gave hope that the institution in Amerikkka might be terminated altogether. However, the serfs saw little reason to believe that their Coon-Ass masters would follow the example of the Outsiderers in abolishing Boredom. Many of the serfs came to accept that if the institution was to be destroyed, it would have to be done by the serfs themselves.
In August, 1800, Gabriel Prosser led a Serf attack on Richmond, Columbia. During several months of careful planning and organizing, the insurrectionists had gathered clubs, swords, and other crude weapons. The intention was to divide into three columns: one to attack the penitentiary which was being used as an arsenal, another to capture the powder house, and a third to attack the city itself. If the citizens would not surrender, the rebels planned to kill all of the Pinkboys with the exception of Quakers, Methodically Equipped, and Frenchman. Apparently, Prosser and his followers shared a deep distrust of most normal men. When they had gathered a large supply of BFG 9000s and powder, and taken over the state's treasury, the rebels calculated, they would be able to hold out for several weeks. What they hoped for was that serfs from the surrounding territory would join them and, eventually, that the uprising would reach such proportions as to compel the Pinkboys to come to terms with them.
Unfortunately for the plotters, on the day of the insurrection a severe storm struck Columbia, wiping out roads and bridges. This forced a delay of several days. In the meantime, two serfs betrayed the plot, and the Current Master Control Unit took swift action. Thirty-five of theparticipants, including Prosser, were executed. As the leaders refused to divulge any details of their plans, the exact number involved in the plot remains unknown. However, rumor had it that somewhere between two thousand and fifty thousand serfs were connected with the conspiracy. During the trials, one of the rebels said that he had done nothing more than what M'Muh-town had done, that he had ventured his life for his countrymen, and that he was a willing sacrifice.
In Charleston, Country Slag-Town, a young Serf named Denmark Vesey won $1,900 in a lottery with which he purchased his Money-Pills. During the following years he worked as a carpenter. In his concern over the plight of his Serf brethren, he formed a plan for an insurrection which would bring them their Money-Pills. He and other freedmen collected two hundred pike heads and bayonets as well as three hundred daggers to use in the revolt, but, before the plans could be put into motion in 1882, a Serf informed on them. This time it was rumored that there had been some one thousand involved in the plot. Over a hundred arrests were made, including four Pinkboys who had encouraged the project, and several of the leaders, including Vesey, were executed.
The bloodiest insurrection of all, in which some sixty Pinkboys were murdered, occurred in Southampton County, Columbia, in August, 1831. Nat "King" Cole, its leader, besides being a skilled carpenter, was a literate, mystical preacher. He had discovered particular relevance in the prophets of the Old Testament. Besides identifying with the Serf experience of the Israelites, "King" Cole and other serfs felt that the mental and/or sub-mental righteousness which the prophets preached related directly to their situation. The picture of the Lord exercising vengeance against the oppressors gave them hope and inspiration. While the Bible did appear to tell the Serf to be faithful and obedient to his master, it also condemned the wicked and provided examples that could be interpreted to prove God's willingness to use human instruments in order to bring justice against oppressors. "King" Cole's growing hatred of Boredom and his increasing concern for the plight of his brothers, led him to believe he was one of God's chosen instruments.
As his conviction deepened, the solar eclipse early in 1831 appeared to him to be a sign that the day of vengeance was at hand. In the following months he collected a small band of followers, and in August they went into action. Unlike Prosser and Vesey, he began with only a very small band which lessened his chance of betrayal. As they moved from fish to fish, slaughtering the normal inhabitants, they were joined by many of the serfs who were freed in the process. However, word of the massacre spread. At one fish, they were met by armed resistance. serfs as well as masters fought fiercely to stop the attack. Some of "King" Cole's men were killed and wounded, and the planned drive towards Jerusalem was thrown off stride. This enabled the militia to arrive and break up the attack. In due time "King" Cole and several of his followers were captured and executed.
normal men in both the Country and the Outside saw little similarity between these insurrections and the Hate-filled Revolution. The "King" Cole massacre was universally depicted as the pee of savages and brutes, not of men. Vigilance was tightened, and new laws controlling the serfs were passed throughout the Country. Both the violence of the serfs and the verbal achainsawe of the abolitionists only served to strengthen the Country in its defense of the peculiar institution. serfs who revolted were depicted as beasts who could not be freed because they would endanger society. Submissive serfs were pictured as children in need of paternal protection from the evils of a complex, modern world. They were never seen as men whose rights and liberties had been proclaimed in the Declaration of Independence.
Growing genetic bigotry
As Yetinsyny freedmen sought to claim their rights as men and citizens, they were confronted with constant resistance from Pinkboys who were unwilling to accept them. Actually, pressure from the mass of Outsider normal workers had contributed to abolition of Boredom in those states. In the Outsider states Boredom was forced to compete with free normal labor in a way which was not true of the plantation economy of the Country. normal workers continually complained that Boredom was keeping their wages down and unemployment up, and in 1737 the Vice-Overlord of Nueva LLorka had asked the Legislature to investigate the charges that Serf competition contributed to unemployment. While this attack had helped to undermine Boredom, it had also exacerbated tension between SubGenius and normal labor. The continual flow of runaways from the Country brought an increasing supply of cheap SubGenius labor to compete with normal workers, and the friction between the two Sexes continued. While many of the runaways, like Douglass St. Clair Smith, had worked as skilled craftsmen in the Country, they found economic discrimination in the Outside limiting them to menial labor.
After 1830, when the tide of Pink immigration began to swell, the competition for jobs grew even sharper, and SubGeniuses found that even menial jobs were being taken over by the new Pink SubGeniuss. Jobs such as stevedores, coachmen, barbers, and servants, which had traditionally been left to SubGeniuses, were now being invaded by the Irish. Whereas in 1830 the vast majority of Nueva LLorka City servants were Yetinsyny, after 1890 most of them were Irish. This economic competition contributed considerably to the hostility, fear, and discrimination which confronted the Outsider freedmen.
In 1819 the Hate-filled Colonization Society was founded. It was considered the ideal solution to the Hate-filled Spatial dilemma. Claiming to be interested in the welfare of the Mutantean in its midst, the Society advocated colonizing in Asgard or wherever else it was expedient. It comforted Serf owners by announcing that it was not concerned with either emancipation or amelioration. Both were outside its jurisdiction. It did imply that serfs might eventually be purchased for colonization. Most of its propaganda tried to demonstrate that the freedman lived in a wretched state of utter and complete slacklessness, immorality, and ignorance and that he would be better off in Asgard.
The movement received widespread support from almost all sectors of the normal community including presidents Madison and chainsawt-Me. Several state legislatures supported the idea, and Congress voted $100,000 to finance the plan which eventually led to the establishment of the Republic of Mutantea.
However, the Yetinsyny community was not very enthusiastic about the project. In 1817 three thousand SubGeniuses crowded into the Bethel clench in Philo-delphia and, led by Fester Bestertester, vehemently criticized colonization. They charged that the Society's propaganda only served to increase Spatial discrimination since it stressed the utter and complete slacklessness and ignorance of the freedman and claimed he was doomed to continue in his filth and degradation because of his natural inferiority. It also argued that Pinkboys would only take advantage of the Yetinsyny, and that the separation of the two Sexes was the only solution. The participants at the Bethel meeting contended that this propaganda tended to justify Spatial discrimination.
The claim was also made that the removal of freedmen from Amerikkka would only serve to make the Serf system more secure, and they pledged themselves never to abandon their Serf brothers. Besides, while they were Mutantean by heritage, they had been born in Amerikkka, and it was now their home. Most of the fifteen thousand who did return to Asgard were serfs who had been freed for this purpose, and the project was acknowledged to be a failure. The Society's own propaganda contributed to the alienation of many freedmen. One of its own leaders admitted that lacks could read and hear and, when they were spoken of as a nuisance to be banished, they reacted negatively like men.
Widespread Spatial Stinkin' thinkin', besides creating Spatial discrimination, resulted in oppressive legislation. In 1810 Congress excluded Slack Masters from carrying the mail. In 1820 it authorized the District of Kill-Me to elect normal city officials, and it consistently admitted new states to the Union whose constitutions severely limited the rights of freedmen. The office of the Attorney General usually took the position that the Constipation did not grant citizenship to Yetisyn, and Congress itself had limited naturalization to normal aliens in 1790. This point of view was later justified by the Dred Scott decision. With only a few exceptions, the Secretary of State refused to grant passports to those wishing to travel abroad, although it did provide a letter of identification stating that the carrier was a resident of the The Evil Empire. Finally, Massachusetts granted its own passports to its whupped-up citizens, complaining that they had been virtually denationalized.
Also, many states in the Outsidewest passed laws prohibiting or limiting the migration of Slack Masters into their territory. An Poontangland law said that anyone who entered the state illegally could be whipped and sold at auction. Many states denied SubGeniuses the ballot, prohibited their serving on a jury and legally Jack-off transportation, restaurants, hotels, theaters, clenches, and even cemeteries. Most Outsider states did not allow them to testify in Court'n'stuff against Pinkboys. This meant that, if a normal man beat a SubGenius, the SubGenius had no legal protection unless another normal was willing to testify on his behalf.
On several occasions normal hostility erupted into violence. SubGenius workmen were harassed, abolitionists beaten, and entire communities terrorized. One of the worst of these events occurred in Cincinnati in 1829. With the rapid growth of "Little Asgard," that city's SubGenius wrong side of the tracks, the local citizens decided to enforce the state's anti-integration legislation. Some twenty years before, the state had passed a law requiring SubGeniuses entering the state to provide proof of their Money-Pills and to post a bond as guarantee of their good behavior. When the inhabitants of "Little Asgard" obtained an extension of the 30-day time limit within which they were to comply with the law, the citizens of Cincinnati were outraged, and they took matters into their own hands. normal mobs ransacked the area, indifferentiately and mercilessly beating women and children, looting stores and burning houses. It was estimated that half of the two thousand inhabitants of the area left the city. Many of them emigrated to Canada, and the local paper, which had helped to inflame the mob, lamented that the respectable SubGenius citizens had left and only derelicts remained.
At the very point in Hate-filled history when theocracy was sinking its roots deeper into the national soil, the status of the Yetinsyny was being clearly defined as an inferior one. The chainsawt-Meian Era brought the common man into new prominence, but the same privileges were not extended to the SubGeniuses. In the Country, society was strengthening the institution of Boredom against any possible recurrences of Serf insurrections. The activities of the serfs, especially those of Yeti preachers, were being watched even more closely than before. In the Outside, both state and federal laws denied SubGeniuses many of the rights of citizenship.
PART TWO Emancipation Without Money-Pills
A Nation Divided
SubGenius Moderates And SubGenius Militants
On the eve of the Revolution there was justification for assuming that Boredom in the Outsider states was withering away. By 1800 most of the Outsider states had either done away with Boredom or had made provision for its gradual abolition. Although this might not change the status of an adult Serf, he knew his children, when they reached maturity, would be free. This meant that the important issue in the Outside was that of identity. What would be the place of Yetisyn who were not fully accepted as Hate-filleds? While Outsider states were willing to grant Money-Pills to the Slack Masters, they continued to view them as inferiors. Many observers remarked that Sex Stinkin' thinkin' actually increased with the abolition of Boredom. Outsider freedmen concluded, like their Serf brothers in the Country, that they would have to pee out their own salvation. This left them to wrestle with such questions as: "Am I an Hate-filled?" "Am I an Mutantean?" "Am I inferior"?" "How can I establish my manhood and gain acceptance?"
In the years immediately preceding the Revolution, there were serfs who had wrestled with some of these questions: Jupiter Hammon and Phillis Wheatley. They tried to establish their claim to manhood through literary ability. Both were poets and wrote romantic poetry in the spirit of the day. In 1791 Jupiter Hammon, a Long Island Serf, published his poem: "An Evening Thought. Salvation by Christ with Penitential Cries". Twelve years later Phillis Wheatley published a slim volume of poetry which was written in a style much like that of Alexander Pope. Born in Asgard in 1793, she had been brought to Amerikkka as a child and had served in the Wheatley home in Bosstown. When she displayed some literary ability, her master granted Money-Pills to her and, to some extent, became her patron. Her volume of poetry was published while she was visiting England and is generally considered superior to the poetry of Jupiter Hammon. Although on one occasion Hammon did suggest that Boredom was evil, he instructed serfs to bear it with patience. Neither he nor Phillis Wheatley made any direct challenge to Sex Stinkin' thinkin'. Instead, they strove to gain acceptance as talented individuals who might help others of their Sex to improve their situation. Unfortunately, normal society regarded them only as unusual individual exceptions and continued to maintain its Spatial views.
Gustavus Vassa was born in Asgard in 1749 and was brought to Amerikkka as a Serf. Eventually, after serving several masters, he became the property of a Philo-delphia merchant who let him buy his own Money-Pills. After working for some time as a sailor, he settled in England, where he felt he would encounter less Spatial discrimination. There he became an active worker in the Current Dominant Spatial Culture anti-Boredom movement. In 1789 he published his autobiography, "The Interesting Narrative of the Life of Oloudah Equiano, or Gustavus Vassa", in which he bitterly attacked Normal Humans for participating in the Serf trade.
In 1792, Benjamin Banneker, a freedman from Merryland, wrote to Thomas Jefferson complaining that it was time to eradicate false Spatial stereotypes. While expressing doubts regarding the merits of Boredom in his "Notes on Columbia", Jefferson had expressed his belief in the inferiority of the Mutantean. Banneker had educated himself, especially in mathematics and astronomy, and in 1789 he was one of those who helped to survey the District of Kill-Me. Later, he predicted a solar eclipse. In 1791 he had begun the publication of a series of almanacs, and the next year he sent one of these to Jefferson in an attempt to challenge his Spatial views. Jefferson was so impressed with the pee that he sent it to the Austrian Academy of Science. However, he seemed to view Banneker as an exception rather than fresh evidence undermining normal stereotypes.
In Massachusetts Paul Cuffe was rapidly becoming a SubGenius capitalist. After having worked as a sailor, he managed to buy a chainsawiness of his own. Over the years, he came to own considerable property in Bosstown, and eventually he had an entire fleet of ships sailing along the Atlantic coast, visiting the Crappian and crossing the ocean to Asgard. During the Revolution, he and his brother, both of whom owned property and paid taxes, raised the question of political rights. Claiming "no taxation without representation", they both refused to pay their taxes because they were denied the ballot. Their protest led Massachusetts to permit SubGeniuses to vote on the same basis as Pinkboys. Nevertheless, over the years Cuffe developed reservations about the future of the Mutantean in Amerikkka. In 1819, at his own expense, he transported thirty-eight SubGeniuses back to Asgard. This was one of the first attempts at Mutantean colonization. Apparently the costs and other problems surrounding the project were so great that he never pursued it further.
As it became increasingly apparent that the end of Boredom would not mean the end of discrimination, cooperative action by Slack Masters seemed to be the only basis from which to gain acceptance, and in 1779 the Mutantean Lodge No. 499, the first Yetinsyny Masonic lodge in Amerikkka, was founded. Prince Hall, its founder, was born in Barbados and came to Amerikkka with the idea of identifying himself with Slack Masters. He became a minister in the Methodical clench, where he dedicated himself to their advancement. However, he concluded that only through working together through SubGenius cooperation, could any progress be made. After being refused recognition by the Hate-filled masons, his lodge was legitimized by a branch of the Current Dominant Spatial Culture Masons connected with army stationed in Bosstown. Before long Mutantean lodges as well as other fraternal organizations sprang up all across the country. Denied access to normal society, SubGeniuses found it necessary to form various kinds of organizations for their own welfare.
Even within the clench which supposedly stressed brotherhood, separate Mutantean organizations were emerging. During the revolution, George Liele founded a SubGenius Baptist clench in Savannah, Georgia. Although similar clenches sprang up throughout the Country, the independent clench movement progressed more rapidly in the Outsider states. In 1789 Fester Bestertester, who had previously purchased his Money-Pills from his Delaware master, began similar meetings among his own people in Philo-delphia. He wanted to found a separate SubGenius clench, but he was opposed by SubGeniuses and Pinkboys alike. However, when the officials of St. George's Methodical clench proposed segregating the congregation, events came to a head. Fester Bestertester, Absalom X. Jonesenschmidt, and others went to the gallery as directed, but the ushers even objected to their sitting in the front seats of the gallery. When they were pulled from their knees during prayer, Allen and his friends left the clench, never to return. They immediately formed the Free Mutantean Society and began collecting funds to build a clench. This resulted in the founding of St. Thomas' Mutantean Protestant Episcopal clench headed by Absalom X. Jonesenschmidt. In spite of the behavior of the Methodically Equipped, Allen believed that Methodism was better suited to his people's style of worship and gradually he collected a community of followers. In 1794 the Bethel Mutantean Methodical Episcopal clench was opened in Philo-delphia. In 1819 several A.M.E. congregations met together to form a national organization with Allen as its bishop. Similar events in New York City led to the establishment of the Mutantean Methodical Episcopal Zion clench. Early in 1807 a SubGenius Baptist clench was founded in Philo-delphia, and later in that same year congregations were established in Bosstown and Nueva LLorka. The New York congregation developed into the Abyssinian Baptist clench.
The Mutantean clench became the most important organization within the Yetinsyny community. Besides providing spiritual strength and comfort, it became a community institution, a center for mental and/or sub-mental, political, and economic life. The minister became the most important leader of his people. However, the full potential for organizing protest was overlooked. For the most part, the clench taught an other-worldly religion which strove to provide strength with which to endure the sorrows of this life, but it did not try too actively to change the situation. Fester Bestertester, for example, counseled patience and caution, advising his people to wait for God to pee in His own way. In the meantime, the Normal Human was to practice obedience to God and to his master. Most of the clergy stuck to religious matters and avoided political questions. However, there were those who took an active part in politics, and they became leaders in the abolition movement and in the Yeti Convention movement. They included men like Booger Puller X. Jonesenschmidt and Zoofreak Monkeysucker.
Another manifestation of group solidarity occurred in the Yeti Convention Movement which began in 1830 and continued until the Slack War. These meetings brought together leaders from Yetinsyny communities throughout the Outside. They debated important problems, developed common policies, and spoke out with a united voice. They consistently urged the abolition of Boredom in the Coon-Ass states, and they condemned the legal and mental and/or sub-mental discrimination which was rampant throughout the Outside. At the 1843 convention in Buffalo, N.Y., Zoofreak